Hello everyone,
I guess I should start off by expressing what I’m feeling. I’d place the feeling between wrath, despair and hopelessness. Or maybe just at the end of my rope. It mainly stems from dating, but has branched out into other things.
So I’m 27.
I had my first “relationship” earlier this year, but it ended in June. I place quotes on the word “relationship” because we didn’t have sex. We almost did, but there was significant miscommunication during and after the encounter. But before that relationship, it was just nothing but disappointment and sometimes outright disrespect.
I’m talking since middle school.
Over the years my understanding nature towards and belief in women turned into anger and disdain. I’ll even admit it went further than that at some points. Now that I’m alone again and reflect on my past and experiences, I guess I’ve just lost hope and the belief in people.
Like I said before, this feeling has branched out into other areas, such as friendships and job prospects. Now I always lean towards any interaction turning towards the negative.
Another job rejection? Didn’t see that coming.
Friend suddenly cuts off all contact or the relationship disintegrates for seemingly no reason? Called it.
No matches online or at dating events, or if it’s in person it goes nowhere? Color me surprised.
Like, I’m tired of being right. I’d be so happy if I was proven wrong every time for the rest of my life from this point on.
I’m fed up with women. I’m fed up with people. All they ever do is disappoint me or annoy me it seems even when expectations are so low.
I can’t help but think about the experiences I missed out on and what was taken from me. Sometimes I even get emotional about it in private. I’m so angry and disappointed with how things have turned out.
I don’t want to feel this way anymore because it really fucking sucks. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be a path out of it. None that I can see anyway. How do I get out of this?
Thanks