I’m a 32F and I’m dealing with resentment towards my mother. I got in my first extremely toxic and emotionally abusive relationship when I was just 16 until 20. My mother could see the effect it had on me but never really encouraged me to leave the relationship or taught me about the dangers of men. In fact sometimes she would just commiserate and talk about her first husband and how he beat her. When I got into my next relationship around 24, a month into it I got a text from his ex gf saying be was a pathological liar, cheater and abusive. I showed it to her and instead of encouraging me to leave him and giving me the strength to do so, she said the ex gf must be jealous and to not believe her. It turned out to all be true and I suffered for many years. There’s more examples but you get the idea.
Looking back on my life, I’m realizing I resent her for this. She is such an amazing mom in other ways, that sometimes I feel guilt for harboring anger toward her. I’m curious if people think I have a reason to be upset with her, or if her actions were no big deal. I feel confused. I’m trying to resolve my complicated feelings to improve our relationship.
TL;DR: I don’t feel my mom helped me when I was in bad relationships and idk if my anger is justified