I've noticed that for the past few months, every time I (31F) hang out with my partner (30M) and his family, he tends to ignore me. More specifically when we are hanging out just me, him and his brother. It's strange because my partner is the one who will offer me a ride with his brother after I finish work, or if they are going to get food or something. When I do see them, it's only towards the end where they pick me up when I'm in the area.
Every time we are in the car and I say something, I get ignored. Or they will ask a follow up question and when I speak, I don't get to finish my story. Or I'll make a joke, and I get an awkward laughter.
There have been way too many times where I'll say something and I don't get to finish, or I'm brushed off. I don't know why my partner invited me to hang out with his siblings when they all treat me so awkwardly. It's not just with his brother, it's with his sister too.
I don't know what my partner is telling his siblings behind my back, but they've always been a little awkward towards me, it's just gotten worse lately.
It really hurts and I don't know what to do. I've noticed this has been happening ever since I went through my partner's phone and caught him messaging escorts. My partner and I haven't had sex in several years, yet he doesn't want to break up with me.
Would someone who loves me actually treat me like this?
TL;DR: My partner of 10 years has been ignoring me lately every time we are around his siblings, especially his brother. They laugh around and make jokes, but when I say something I get ignored completely, or interrupted. It's making me feel like he doesn't love me.
11 comments
…why…are you in this relationship? Get out of it. This is crazy.
No, no they wouldn’t treat you this way.
No, they wouldn’t treat you like this. You try to ask him why and he doesn’t even answer? You deserve better. He’s not even giving you the basic necessities of a relationship.
You know you can break up with him even if he doesn’t want to, right? He’s messaging escorts. Chances are he has met them. Plus he doesn’t have sex with you. And he treats you badly.
Do you have money? Is that why he keeps you around?
Whoa, your big problem is NOT that your partner ignores you during visits with his family. Your problem is that you’re with a man who won’t have sex with you and messages escorts! Good lord, girl, get out of this relationship!
You haven’t had s3x in years. He’s ignoring you. His siblings are ignoring you. He was messaging escorts and you caught him.
What exactly is he bringing to the relationship? What’s he getting out of it from you? Chief cook, bottlewasher and maid?
What are you really getting out of it from him?
So far, I don’t see an upside to staying with him. Haven’t you wasted enough time on this guy?
Edit for typo
You desperately need to develop some self respect and leaving this nutty, awful relationship is a great way to start.
You need to leave. He’s isolating you – he’s probably telling them bad things about you
so he’s messaging escorts behind your back, refuses intimacy with you, and then he and his siblings give you the cold shoulder? you don’t need to overthink this. you already asked the key question: *“would someone who loves me actually treat me like this?”* no they would not.
that’s not love, that’s disrespect and neglect. you deserve more than being sidelined while he looks elsewhere for attention and his family treats you like an outsider. you don’t fix this by enduring it. you fix it by walking away.
No wonder they ignore you all the time.
So if you had a friend who was going through this exact situation? Messaging escorts, being ignored, no sex…what would you say to the friend? Would you tell them to stay or get out? There’s your answer.