What was your final straw in dating? Like, that one moment where you just sat there thinking, “Nah, I’m out. I’m done with this circus.”
Was it the 50th ghost in a row? The person who “wasn’t ready for a relationship” but married someone else two months later? The walking red flag you ignored until it exploded?
I’m talking about the moment you stopped giving a crap, embraced the Dark Force.
What pushed you over the edge?
Follow up question: what does it mean to you that you joined the Dark Force?
P.S.: No tendies jokes, please
27 comments
My last long term, lived with, bf broke me, I think. It was one red flag after another but once we lived together I felt stuck. We broke up in 2017 or 2018 and I’ve refused serious since then. When you truly don’t give a crap, have no intention of finding someone long term and never get attached, when they peace out it doesn’t hurt. Heeelllllooooooo trauma response!😂😂
Met a beautiful woman last year, and everything seemed so natural. She was beautiful, funny and intelligent. I fell for her in a big way. After a few months, she ended it, telling me that the trauma of her ex-husband meant she didn’t feel she could do a relationship. I decided it’s not worth it anymore. Why invest in someone for it all to be for nothing? Not doing that again. I’m out.
Found a good match and she liked me, but told her idk how to open up to people, and let her go. If I can’t open up at this point in my life it’s over for me
My only valid or invalid excuse is how modern women have became these days and been viewing this youtube channel that exposes their problems.
I always went for guys with ‘special situations’ – living far away, fresh out of relationships, or with 2-3 kids and tons of responsibilities. Probably because I worked so much. But this last guy really messed me up (it’s been 2 weeks since he hurt me). Here’s what happened:
I met him in another country when he helped me find my way after I got a bit lost. He gave me his number. I texted him 2 weeks later when I was back home. Turns out we really liked each other. After a week of talking, he said he needed someone nearby and that long-distance wasn’t a good idea. I got sad. Then we started talking again, he said ‘I’m in love…’ and then a week later said we should stop talking but stay friends. I agreed (thinking it’s cool to have an interesting friend abroad), even though it hurt because I liked him. Then a few days later, after exchanging photos, he texts ‘I love you… I want you…’ We talked for a few more days, then he drops ‘Sorry, found a local girl, bye.’
I’m broken. This whole ‘love’ thing lasted about a month, but he wrecked me like we’d been together for 5 years. Now I don’t even know if I can take the word ‘love’ seriously anymore. Is ‘I love you’ just code for ‘Sorry, found someone else, bye’ now? I don’t know what this crap was, but it really hurt
Too many guys starting off by telling me they want a “serious relationship” just to later try and switch their answer to “casual relationship.”
The last one called me his girlfriend to my face but was telling everyone (including my “friends”) that we were just fuck buddies. That one broke me.
Met the most amazing, handsome guy on NYE. Spent the next 6 months talking every day, travelled to each other’s countries, met the family ect. Fell so hard, only to have him leave me and go back to his ex, who had dropped him and had him blocked the majority of the time we were together.
That’s it for me. Never again. Either he comes back after things blow up with her, or I will be alone for the rest of my life.
And the “Dark Forces” to me means: wearing black like a Victorian widow. Speaking about my lost love, as if he died at sea. Going out and having fun, but not engaging with anyone or dating.
i broke myself
All of you are making me sad. I have been hurt in unimaginable ways, but I keep going because I don’t want to give up on finding my person. And some day, when I find them, I will be able to tell them I went through Hell to find them, but I never gave up looking for them.
No likes whatsoever 🤷 the market doesn’t want me so why bother
Idk that I’m broken yet.
But the 4th guy in a row who gives me 3 months and then ghosts just to keep trying to come back and tell me how perfect I am.
Maybe work through your issues before dating so you don’t run away from something good.
It’s the plan cancellers. There was an opportunity cost to me to hold that time for them. But I was soft plans to them, only if something more important or more appealing didn’t pop up.
Honorable mention to: inconsistent texting, negging, making a big show of playing it cool, talking at me non-stop about themselves, bringing no energy to the date at all, defensiveness and lack of accountability, passive aggression, emotional unavailability, and being dependent. All of which were very strong competitors in the Tournament of Dating Deterrents.
And to think, these are all things they CAN control. And here they are all wringing their hands about their d*** size and stuff like that.
It was, after getting out of a relationship with a narcissistic, habitual lying, pedophile and then dating men that kept gaslighting me, so I went out with a woman who was nice, but had the weirdest, unhealthy relationship with her “straight” best friend that still haunts me 8 years later. Just thinking about it gives me the ick. I decided everyone was just too weird, so I enjoy time with my kids and granddaughter, and I play video games and write books. I don’t have the tolerance for that weird shit anymore.
The dark force is where your emotions run your anger to black out rage with stronger than usual force or violent actions.
Guys telling me that they’re looking for something serious. Then when you ask to take it slow cuz you want to get to know them. The switch up is real. Most men, like women lie about their intentions. This last dude kept telling me that he was a chill guy. He was pissed cuz I told him to take it slow on the first date and this was 3 weeks later. Lmafoooo far from it.
Chronic rejection, 0 successes and years of therapy.
I developed a few mental illnesses from all the rejection and loneliness.
I can’t even try anymore. I am one more rejection away from flying off a building with no parachute.
On my last few weeks on hinge, I had 4 matches that I was talking to consistently. As the days went on, 1 by 1 they started to unmatched me randomly. One of these girls I asked out on a date, and she said she was down. We had a date, place, and time to meet, everything was going smoothly. When the day of the date rolled around, I checked hinge a couple of hours before our meeting time, only to see that she unmatched me.
That was it. I completely deleted my hinge profile and haven’t been back since. I am tired of putting effort, only to get my time wasted.
Already broken but as a very shy person my first gf ended up cheating and that pretty much tarnished everything, next relationship i was paranoid and even then that ended with them leaving me for someone else… After that I’ve tried to date again but i sabotage myself too much to go further than 1 or 2 dates
i used to be a homeless romantic. i honestly grew tired of the short lived flings. empty promises of relationships and a future id never see… my last “talking stage” was december 2023. after that i was genuinely exhausted and kinda over the dating scene and getting to know ppl. now, i am content with being forever alone and am totally okay with the idea that there isn’t someone for me! i now live vicariously through my friends and fiction, and i used to be sad a lot about it but now it’s just…what it is!!
Went to a speed dating event and spent a good chunk of change on the entrance fee but also hair and makeup for confidence.
Got there and they announced they decided to change the rules and not do the mutual matching at the end for us and instead we were encouraged to approach each other.
At the end of the event people naturally started pairing or grouping off and I realized I was in the reject corner. It was all my greatest fears come true.
Went home and deleted all the apps and haven’t even talked to a man in a social context since. That was almost 2 years ago.
Years of little things accumulated 2 weeks ago when someone I had been going out with for two months ghosted me. I called them out on it and she gave me a flurry of different reasons that basically just meant she lied about her intentions with me.
It’s been nothing but dates who just talk about their ex’s, want to use you as their personal psychiatrist, the constant republicans or they just having *NO CLUE* what they want. I can’t tell you how many women have told me I’m the first guy who cooked for them. Like, honey, you’re almost thirty now. You should have this box checked off.
Mostly I’m livid about how much work I put into myself while these people are out walking around. Like what’s the point?
I was dating a man for 2.5 years. One night, on the way to dinner, he took a phone call on his vehicle Bluetooth. He proceeded to plan a birthday party for his son, no big deal. Then he wanted ‘happy first birthday’ on the cake, and it took me a few minutes to realize what had just happened. I died inside that day. I realized that he was NOT divorced. He did NOT have a vasectomy. Had I not been righteous about my Depo shot, I may have been baby trapped with a cheater. That was 14 years ago, and every time I consider dating, I remember that you can never really know another person and I choose myself.
Not fully broken yet, but teetering on the edge. For the kart year and a half I have gotten wrapped up with a major avoidant, a guy who was so lonely he dated me for four months while actively avoiding intimacy because he wasn’t really attracted to me, he then used me as a friend for over a year, but I began to realize he didn’t know anything about me, I was just an excuse to get out of the house and vent, I could have been anyone.
But the one that really sent me was the guy i met through work, seemed so nice and interested, he was polite and we talked a lot before I was ever attracted to him, ended up hooking up, eventually I brought up a relationship as we were eating lunch together every day and getting together outside work a couple of times a week, the connection felt strong. He said he thought we were just casual, but that he was interested in more… eventually. Eight months later and a whole lot of inconsistencies and likely manipulation on his part (I never felt fully comfortable about what was happening, but couldn’t get solid answers either way) and he ghosted me for the last time. I finally saw all the cracks and disappointments that meant we’d never make a good couple anyway.
Basically I’m not sure I can trust my instincts at all anymore, all I find are liars and emotionally abusive men. It doesn’t help that the men around me (work mostly) are also this way, it’s so rare to meet someone decent and they are never single.
Being a 30 year old virgin. Hearing guys tell me that I am perfect and wife material. How I am different from the rest and a rarity. Having them spoil me and treated like a Princess in the beginning. Giving me the world and giving me false promises. Lovebombing me.
In turn, me being vulnerable and emotionally invested. Giving my all and truly caring for them all to be lied to, led on and rejected for not wanting to put out before marriage. Being discarded and treated lesser than. That really broke me to the point where I don’t care anymore. I’m both dead and broken inside.
Too many men on dating apps put they want a serious relationship on their profile and then after talking for a bit, they make it very clear they are just looking for a hookup. I guess they don’t get matches when they put the hookup stuff on their profile, so instead men now a days are just straight up lying and wasting your time.
The moment he punched a hole in my office door.
Men approaching acting like they want something real and really js want to hit it and quit it.