Despite what the title says, work isn't killing my dating life in the sense that I don't have time for it. Actually, work is killing my dating life because I'm so Type A and so pragmatic with workaholic tendencies that I can't seem to rationalize why I would pursue dating when I'm not yet where I want to be in my career despite knowing that that's not everything.
I'm 25 years old and I have been in my career for almost 4 years. I make just shy of 60k per year, and while I know that money and career aren't what define me as a man, I still struggle to get myself up for dating because of financial insecurity and fear of not being enough. My greatest fear is being someone's boyfriend and not being able to give them the experiences they deserve. I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend that can't take his girlfriend on nice dates, travel and see new things together, and be someone that makes her life better. It's not so much about the money itself as it is what it stands for: a lack of limitation. I don't want someone to feel limited when they're with me, and as long as I'm not at that point, I don't truly feel like I'm ready to be someone's boyfriend. I'm not a materialistic person, it's just that I don't want to feel like a burden on someone else's life because I'm not where I want to be yet.
On the other hand, I know in my heart that what my mind tells me is wrong. Dating is about togetherness and companionship, not the value of the dates or vacations. It's about finding a kindred spirit, someone who really understands you, and I want to find that for myself and be that for someone else. I want to find real love and go into it wholeheartedly without being afraid.
I guess what I want to ask is how I get over this mental hurdle and stop waiting for some arbitrary level of success defined by a salary. Part of me wants to keep chasing it because I feel like I'm close, but another part wants me to stop thinking about it and not let that stifle me and keep me from seeking and finding something real and worthwhile.