(29f) Met a guy (35m) a couple of weeks ago while on a night out with a friend. We instantly connected and ended up spending 24h together from the moment we met – following this, we hung out once more which was pretty intense overall but just really lovely. Since then (it’s been about a week) we haven’t seen each other, as he had to go on a trip this past weekend and was generally super busy with work etc – but we had loose plans to meet again once he was back. Anyway.
I was somewhat on the fence over a couple of things – mainly the fact that we’re in different stages of our lives, he wants to settle down asap whereas I’m not ready yet. I decided to ignore this and just enjoy the moment as I loved being around him so much – it takes a lot for me to feel deeply connected with someone and genuinely really like them. It’s been years since I’ve felt this way which says a lot.
I hadn’t heard from him since last weekend while he was away on his trip – and honestly assumed I had been ghosted. Days passed and eventually he reached out this evening to tell me he met someone unexpectedly during his trip last weekend, a woman he is head over heels for and wants to pursue and commit to. This was a voice message and I could hear how incredibly sincere he was being.
I respect how honest and upfront he was (although perhaps he could have messaged sooner in the week) – the voice message was lovely and he highlighted all the traits he really loved about me and opened up the possibility of being friends (understand this is just a conversational buffer but sweet nonetheless)
I understand this is not that serious, I’m not stupid – this was a fleeting, short term connection.
The difference is that this is the first time I’ve had the experience of ‘I met someone else and I’m choosing them over you.’
I’m someone who welcomes all life experiences, good and bad, but can’t help this feeling of my ego being bruised – that’s just normal, right?
This is not me being conceited so please don’t read it as such – but I am not someone who has ever really had this rejection experience. It’s been me who has ended dating situations in the past.
This feels humbling, confusing, humiliating and a little…painful?
I don’t know how to process these emotions and to hopefully turn them into something positive. I’m doing the opposite in fact, by dissecting every conversation and interaction and moment we shared, questioning why I wasn’t ‘enough’, and why I wasn’t ‘chosen’…