Whenever i see advice about nerdy guys just needing to be more confident or how plenty of women love nerdy guys, I can't help but call bs sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I get that some nerdy guys do fine in dating, but my experience has not reflected that at all.

When I was straight up "shy and nerdy," I rarely got attention from women. On the apps, or irl. Most girls just saw me as a friend at most. I wouldn't even say I was that bad looking. I'm better looking now for sure, but I hardly think I was ugly.

Now, I changed my entire demeanor. I'm still "shy and nerdy" to some degree, but I let my hair grow, I am outdoorsy now, go to the gym, and play guitar. I got a lot more dates and have a gf now.

To give you a comparison. When I was "shy and nerdy," I was stood up by the only match I had on the apps that said yes to going out.

I had 10 first dates in the first couple of months after my demeanor changed.


8 comments

  2. You leveled up, shy and nerdy is a pref for some but those apps dont seem to stock those. Should try discord dating. If its not a thing someones missing some profit here.

  3. I kinda disagree, I’m shy and nerdy but I’m also weirdly confident so women are into that, if you don’t have confidence most women aren’t really into that

  4. Could it be that when you were just shy and nerdy, your interests were seen as too narrow compared to your current self who has more varied hobbies? I have dated and passed on shy and nerdy guys but for me the determining factor was that the ones I dated were also into other things while the ones I passed on were only into a few specific things.

  5. You can be shy, nerdy and fit. You can also be loud, bro-y and scrawny/fat. Yes, a glow up will land you more dates. But also, maybe because you had a glow up, you felt more confident to be yourself, which also got you more dates.

  6. A guide to getting dates and women:

    Step 1: be attractive
    Step 2: dont be ugly
    Step 3: profit

  7. As in… you learned to be confident and comfortable with yourself, just like people said you should?

  8. I remember being 18 years old 100 10 pounds and having all the female attention I have no idea how I did it. I kind of just approached any girl, and apparently that meant I was confident and that was attractive.

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