e '32M' found out my GF '30F' had emotionally.cheated or atleast attempted to cheat in her past boyfriend of 3 years.
Context originally she told.me about how some.musician she was a fan of (not a big one) responded to her on Instagram after a show etc,. I was like oh.who and when. When I found out when.. it was within the time frame she was with her ex bf. So I inquired and was like oh what was the context. She chalked it up to be just a fan interaction, her fan girling, and then told.me the guy have her his number but she never text him. following by saying she wasn't attracted to him. Etc. She told.her friends that shes currently friends with and at the time.of all of this happening they were all like excited about it whatever. Even made a joke about telling her ex boyfriend about it and he just brushed it off.
This didnt add up to me but.i also didnt push it.
Fast forward over the next 6 months I found there to be hints of dismissiveness, blame.shifting, and a lack of accountability. Nothing for major issues only.small stuff..I am not perfect either so I chalked it up to maybe a communication style breakdown/ trauama responses that we could work through.
Not to sound like a whacko but I kept having dreams the past montb about her deceiving me. Ive had dreams in the past that have usually led to be somewhat true. I woke up at 3am abd
CRUCIFY ME FOR THIS IF YOU WANT.
I logged onto her social media and checked the DMs from 4 years ago. Not at all what she told.me, what started as a fan interaction turned into her gawking and throwing herself at the imdivudal. She even sent her number first, the guy deflected a bit and sent his back. Following that she said well I'll text you eventually its not just a good tme rn. Keep in mind all of this occurred whike she was with someone.
My thoughts…
I feel like I cant trust her, and I know if I bring this up she will accuse me of being in the wrong. She deceived me.
If she was willing to do this to someone she was with for 2 years at the time in her mid to late 20s what will she do when she gets bored of me.
Even if nothing physical happened boundaries were crossed.
She keeps the DM messages.on her phone with the number in it.
What else has she lied about.
If her friend group now was involved and knew the context of the messages (assuming she showed them) i mentally cant be cool with her friends for supporting it
Whats the best way to handle this moving forward.
Do i move on?
tl:dr
Gf deceived me in the begging of our relationship about behavior that I hold a strong moral opposition to.