Yesterday, my boyfriend (26M) left for work and texted me (25F) once he got there if we could FaceTime. For context, we’ve been dating over 10 months. When FaceTiming, he had let me know last week, a girl from his past who he had hooked up with prior to our relationship texted him. He said he was just responding to her, but when the texts started turning flirtatious and she began implying she wanted to start it up again, he ended the conversation there and told her they both crossed boundaries, especially him in a committed relationship.
I was upset, but going to allow myself time to process as this hit me by surprise. I know everyone says this, but he never showed red flags like this. We hang out all the time, text when we can’t, spend quality time together, know each other’s families extremely well. When he looked at me, I felt happiness and peace. I truly love him.
Fast forward to me at work. I’m asking about his intentions in responses, why he didn’t tell me a week ago, etc. At this point, I ask to see the messages. We didn’t have that kind of relationship- we trusted each other and as such, never felt the need to go through each other’s phones. After hesitating twice, he restored the messages and sent them to me. I could not believe what I saw. While she initiated the conversation, and he was simply replying at first. Then, she lets him know she bought clothes and was picking them up to which he asked what did she get, and she replied with a picture of just her breasts in a bikini. He didn’t respond at first, but after instigating from her, he replied that it looked really good.
At this point, she tries to see if he wanted to start pack up what they had. He claims at this point, he realized what she was doing. He then sent a chat to her that they crossed boundaries, especially him being in a committed relationship and he would not text her anymore.
Since then, he has showed extreme remorse. He’s been honest and transparent in that he has no good excuse why he did what he did. He has not shifted any blame on me or what I did, and told me he couldn’t live with himself knowing how bad he hurt me. He has gone through and deleted people off his phone, only saving those who he has a close relationship with. He said he’s willing to put action behind his words of remorse and focus on prioritizing me first and foremost.
Right now, I’m crushed. I can’t believe he did this to me. It completely blindsided me. I think I want to work through this, but I do not know how I can go through my life knowing he did this to me. Was it a one-time occurrence? Hopefully so. However, it only takes one mistake to break trust and hurt a relationship. What do you think I should do?
TL;DR: boyfriend replying to ex hookup, flirting at first, but eventually realizing it was wrong. OP not sure how to move forward.