To start, I'm not sure why I'm making this post. I see other similar posts. I can almost predict the responses and advice. Maybe because I've never told anyone outside our marriage what I'm going through and I feel I need to. I guess that's good enough.
We've been married 6 years now. Pretty early on dating I made it clear how important physical closeness is to me. We talked about our love languages many times just getting to know one another. It's hard to sum up 6 years in a post like this.
Pretty early on after we got married, I expressed a concern for her lack of physical touch, initiation of sex, or even just physical closeness.
If there's been a common theme, it's been that conversation. I express it, what it means to me, what it does to me to feel neglected and unwanted. She says she understands, but nothing ever changes. She's expressed she prefers not to initiate.
I've expressed to her that her lack of interest had begun to make me bitter and resentful, yet still nothing.
Then a couple years ago my dad died. It was awful. It wrecked my family because we loved him so much and he was such a central and loving person to us and my kids.
But my wife wasn't there for me. She's never even asked me how I'm doing. To think, right after it happened, I told her that she had a chance to just be with me and comfort me, and she could do it, but also that of she waited too long she would miss that chance. Well, she has. I feel completely abandoned and alone and uncared for.
It's strange because she's an otherwise well rounded person. She's extremely smart, good with our kids, responsible. But she can't bring herself to put an ounce of effort into showing me affection, or even comfort in the wake of the loss of my dad.
I guess I'm starting to lose hope, which I never envisioned happening to me. I've communicated to her over and over. But it's becoming humiliating to bring it up anymore. Why share your intimate feelings and vulnerability with someone who's shown no signs that they care about how you feel enough to do something about it?
Where do I go from here?