As a follow up to a previous post I had made a couple days ago, I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months. We are still in the initial phase of our “relationship“, and by all accounts, he has been nothing but nice. Whenever we are together, it’s amazing. But he has terrible communication style. Maybe 4 weeks ago his daughter got sick with mono and then a week later, he caught both mono and Covid. Throughout his recovery, I checked up on him daily, making sure that he is OK and doesn’t need anything. Then last week, he started feeling better And that made me happy because we hadn’t seen each other in couple weeks and I started to feel distant. Then out of the blue, he just disappears. He went completely MIA. I texted him to make sure he was OK, but no answer. Then about a week later (last night), he casually texts me saying he had gone on a boys rafting trip and that it was a last-minute decision, but he did not want to forgo his nonrefundable trip. I don’t know how to react. I feel hurt, disrespected, like I don’t matter. Is it unreasonable for me to expect to be a priority when we’ve only been dating 2 months? We decided early on to be exclusive And so maybe he isn’t a full-fledged boyfriend, but I would at least expect communication and not just waltz back into my life as if nothing had happened. I want to respond to his text in a non-passive aggressive way, but I don’t know how to do that. I am kind of over it. I’m so tired of being in relationship where I am an afterthought or not a priority. Does this message make sense?
“Hey. I am glad you are feeling better. I understand the last minute decision, but I would have appreciated some sort of communication so that I didn’t have to worry. I am not a clingy person nor am I going to be the type of gf who says you can/cannot go on a boys trip, but the least I would expect is being considered and given a text so that I know you are ok and that I am not some afterthought. I don’t know where you were, but I’m assuming you had cell service. Communication in a relationship to me is very important and we need to do better if we are going to succeed. If you are not feeling us, please let me know so I don’t expand emotional bandwidth in a one sided relationship. I was worried about you. Didn’t know if you were in the hospital or ghosted me or what. I don’t want to go through that again so please don’t do this again in the future.”
Is this message ok? Is too much of an ultimatum or presumptuous? Maybe it’s too much to ask after 2 months. Maybe I should not even respond and move on.