I just need to get this off my chest.
I (F36) had a great first date with a man (M34). For me, it really seemed like a too good to be true situation (spoiler – it was!). He was very kind, engaging (asked me so many questions I could barely get one in about him), lots of banter, seemed like our senses of humor meshed well, and I found him incredibly attractive. He was definitely flirting with me too. At the end of that date, he walked me to my car, he asked me if he could see me again and asked to kiss goodbye. Both yes from me.
Right after the date, I shared my number on Hinge to schedule a date, he texted immediately and when I sent him my availability he took three days to get back to me.
When he did reply, he had travel so we found a date that was 10 days after the first date. Whatever, people are busy and we don’t have to rush. We didn't text in between, I got the impression he was pretty busy and I prefer just letting things unfold in person.
Night before, we confirm to meet at a nice restaurant (his invitation). Day of second date finally comes, he cancels 2.5 hours before, saying he’s tired from his travel and work and asks if I'd be open to rescheduling. Okay. We reschedule immediately, he is very apologetic, and is very flirty in expressing his excitement about seeing me again.
We reschedule for another 10 days out due a 6-day trip I had scheduled / and his limited availability afterward.
He reaches out the night before and we confirm. He hearts my message. Day of date, he cancels four hours before and tells me I deserve someone who is less flaky (correct!), thanks me for a 'really lovely' first date and wishes me the best for the future.
I’m so irritated (mostly with myself) for looking forward to this for three weeks and getting burned twice. He is not interested, I get that. But why string me along for three weeks? My guess is that he just goes with whatever he thinks is his best offer and just cancels to accommodate it. Or there's something about his relationship status he's hiding. Some people have said some guys like the idea of just having someone interested in their pocket – I can't even fathom the idea of that. I wasn't desperate, I just expressed a normal level of enthusiasm. I didn't try to name our future kids or text him from sun up to sun down.
My silver lining is that I know I would never treat another person this way and so it's good that I'm not dating whoever this guy really is.