My sister (24F) and I (16F) fight a lot. Its usually about little things but its crazy how she acts about it because it genuinely makes me so angry. In this situation, I get a school transportation card that allows me to access public transportation for free. During the summer, she likes to take the card and use it to go to and from work. Understandable, im not doing anything, and when school starts i get it back or when i need to go do something during the summer, say, volunteer, hang out, etc. (But i had to fight a LOT for this because she would tell me to show the bus driver or the security guard of the subway my student id and they’d let me in (they do not many times because they believe in responsibility and they tell me if i lost my card then i have to pay the natural consequence.) However, it is summer, and she took it for one day, as for earlier this summer i needed it. She used it yesterday, and then this morning she texts me word for word: “Idk why” “your card doesnt work” (first text about this i didnt ask about it or anything) I say: “Bruh you ruined it” (I say this because these cards are fragile for God knows what reason and she used to bend it by accident a lot and then i got a plastic cover to protect it) She says: “I didnt” “I did not even take it out the plastic” “And i just tried it today” “Im so confused” “Did they deactivate it or something” I say: “No i think you broke it because on TikTok some people say that if you put the card behind your phone it does something weird but idk how accurate that is bc (my cousin) puts it behind his phone” “But anyway you were the last one to use it” She says: “I never put it behind my phone” “Im just mad I had to pay” This is the end of the discussion and I was already a bit confused because i didnt know what she wanted me to do because when i used it all this time it was fully functioning, and the second it falls into her hands, it stops working. Then at home when we talk face to face, I asked her what happened to the card and she said idk it just stopped working. Then i said something along the lines of bro how did you break it? And the trigger word was break because then she kept saying she didnt break it it just happened. I was like what is going on because it escalated way further than it needed to, and i told her “I’m not saying you did it on purpose, but why couldnt you just say that it waa your fault?” Like i dont know why she was acting as if a ghost came and did something because it was clearly in her possession when it “stopped working” (instead of “broke” because thats SUCH a major difference) Then she kept saying it was a coincidence, which really made me upset because I feel like everytime she uses my things it gets ruined. (For example she borrowed my cargo pants to go to a DANCE class and the next day i wore them and they were ripped, to which she said apparently I ripped them and i apparently made a tear that wasn’t noticeable by me or her when she first wore them, and all she did was “exacerbate” them. 😐) so this whole coincidence thing really triggered me because like what? And then she also started saying stupid stuff like I have voodoo (doesnt even make sense) and apparently everytime she takes my stuff i always think she will ruin it, which like bruh are you for real?? Anyway, i kinda want to know if im the asshole because i dont understand why she was acting like this. Oh, sidenote, after we argued about this, she then started saying “why dont you call your school and tell them to give you a new one” which i was appalled about because the way she said it made it seem like that was the reason why she was mad, but the whole time we were arguing was whether or not she caused it to “stop working” and then i told her exactly that, which she kept saying its my responsibility and what not. Then i told her okay, even if i did they wouldnt even do anything until school starts, they dont even change schedules let alone give me a new card! She then proceeded to ignore this and keep talking and she started acting like i was attacking her which i was literally not like i dont even need the card until school starts, so why would I go out of my way to mend a situation that she caused and them proceeded to act irrational about?
Can someone explain why she or anyone would act like this over a card when shes supposed to pay anyway, and tell me what I did or said that was wrong? Im genuinely losing my mind because all i can think about it is like how she just doesnt care about other people’s items, but then i feel like thats weird because she wouldnt ruin it if she needed it, but then again, shes acting all like i can “simply” get another. (when i cant) Im sorry for writing this much and if you read all of it, im genuinely so thankful.
TL;DR
My sister (24F) often borrows my school-issued transportation card during the summer. Yesterday she used it, and today she told me it “doesn’t work” anymore. I mentioned she was the last one to use it and may have broken it (not on purpose), but she got defensive, insisted it was a coincidence, and told me to just get a new one, even though I can’t until school starts. This reminded me of other times she’s damaged my things and denied responsibility. Now I’m wondering if I handled this wrong or if she’s just refusing to own up when she messes up. How do i stop feeling weird about this?