Okay, long story short-ish…
Dated a guy long distance for a year…got serious pretty quickly because we have so much in common, people, interests, same humor, and became very very close confidants (or so it seems from my side). We ended things on decent terms because of distance (he didn’t want long distance to start with), his new job where he travels constantly, his lack of desire to do long distance, etc…in December. I know a lot of these were reasons, some were excuses. I would have done long distance with him, even if it meant only seeing each other once or twice a month. Anyway, haven’t seen him since November. We absolutely care about each other. I was in love with him…for a brief moment in time (Maybe I was delusional or maybe it was real).
We started communicating again around May (I wasn’t the one to reach out first). He had told me he’s been with other women and dating a few, etc, etc. they were all local and none of them stuck. I hated this part, hearing it, knowing that he was pursuing others, letting go, as a woman who cares deeply does. I had to deal with my own emotions/feelings about that, knowing I wasn’t close enough to him to be HER. Can’t be mad from afar. (No, I am not a pick-me girl. I’m very choosy and have a hard time finding anyone I’d consider dating and he did it for me. He checked the boxes.)
Fast forward. It’s August. We’ve chatted all summer. Never made plans to see each other. I’ll be in his city this weekend. Messaged him that I would be around and would love to see him if he had time.
I’m in town for interviews, seeing family, best friends, etc. I’m in Wednesday, fly out Sunday, schedule flexible and no solid plans past Friday night (also I did not equate him in my trip originally, since we’re both living our own lives). I was going to go to my favorite yoga spot, brunch, and roam the city. I haven’t had a good break from where I live in several months, so I booked a flight. This city has rivers, restaurants, excellent food, and my friends & family live there!
Now that he knows I’m in town…he told me he was wanting to know OUR plans so he could figure out his work schedule and now he wants to spend a few days together. Like we are talking pick me up on Friday night…spend the rest of the weekend together, take me to the airport Sunday. (Also side note, he’s not being controlling or possessive by any means, he wants to see me and spend time together and we haven’t gotten that in the past, so I think we’re both seeing this as an opportunity)
HEREIN LIES THE QUESTIONS: What are we doing?! Is he just wanting to get laid? Do I sleep with him the first night?? Ha!! Chemistry is there…it will be hard but do I make him wait a day!?? It’s been a year and a half of this, we’re both still hanging on, so maybe there’s hope here? Am I getting ahead of myself by being okay with spending the weekend together? Should I pump the brakes? Do I tell him to tell his other girlfriends that he’s busy this weekend (jokingly and with sarcasm of course, we have not discussed any of this nor do I want to know)?
Obviously he and I need to have a genuine conversation and spend some time together, but truly…if you were in these shoes…
What would you do??!!