I’m not sure how to begin this.
We’ve been married almost two years. We started out in a small apartment, then moved to his parents’ house. It’s a lovely home and made things easier for all of us. Living as a family was nice until it wasn’t.
Lately, my husband has been crashing out a lot and small things would set him off. I agreed to the move hoping it would help him feel more stable. Keep in mind, I moved to South Korea from the UK for this. He wanted a stable family environment before we started our own.
Last night, he had an episode and got into a fight with his father. We were all shocked and didn’t know how to handle it. Then he suddenly accused me of hitting him. I would never do that. Especially since he is so much bigger than me. I just find it funny that he works out obsessively, training to be a bodybuilder, yet uses his strength to hurt those closest to him.
On Sunday, my mother-in-law woke me suddenly and told me to pack a small bag. We drove around briefly because she knew something was wrong. She then asked me to go back into the house with snacks and cigarettes that my husband requested. The door was locked and I smelled something awful inside. Neither of my in-laws drink or smoke, so I feared the worst.
We called the police who broke into the house. The place was trashed. My husband had mixed cleaning products and poured them everywhere. We spent the whole day cleaning but the smell is still there!! Meanwhile, he claims that “his wife and mother are overreacting”. He is now in the hospital.
While destroying the house, he was searching for papers that explain everything.
He has diagnoses from three years ago including
• Bulimia nervosa
• Major depressive disorder
• Rule-out panic disorder
• Rule-out ADHD
• Rule-out Cluster B personality traits
He hid all of this from me.
He now takes medication for ADHD and anxiety but the symptoms persist. I also learned his IQ is below average. He pretends to be smarter than everyone but lied about his degree and work experience. It is painful because I studied law and economics and he didn’t even graduate. I feel foolish for putting up with so much.
He blocked my number and Instagram, deleted all our photos, and told his mother he can’t live with us anymore but asked her to take care of me. Then suddenly he called her to apologize to me. I don’t know what to think anymore.
I told my mother-in-law I want to help make things better but after that I am leaving.
I have already started preparing divorce papers and talking to a lawyer.
Please, any words of encouragement or advice would mean so much.