Hi all, I've been struggling with this life puzzle for a few years now after leaving a life of freedom (living on the road) that didn't check the boxes I needed for security (financial, social connection, future planning.). As a result of the shift, I got a job again in a field I left years ago, but have a degree in. It was a direct path from no job / no income / no stability to something familiar that fulfilled those needs.

However, for the same reasons I left before, I grit my teeth to get through the week and it doesn't offer me levels of life freedom I know know do exist after living on the road. Vacations, at this point, just kind of feel like a band-aid that ends up making life feel worse when I'm back at the computer after a week off.

So, for a long time I have been ruminating and questioning and searching for what to make a shift towards. In my mid-30's I'm also not trying to just "go back to school for UI/UX design because it makes a lot of money" since I know I won't have motivation to do that work.

This tends to send me into one of two positions:

  1. Freedom is for influences and the wealthy – I should suck it up and just keep a job that pays me and suppress dreams to do anything else.
  2. I have one life to live; why would I use it siting at a computer doing something I don't enjoy to make someone else lots of money?

And (of course) goals are important. These two positions are clearly from the two lives I've lived (neither right, neither wrong) and definitely position 1. comes with societal/parental programming. Goals include things associated with freedom more-so than things associated with having lots of money / professional esteem.

I also know that asking Reddit isn't / shouldn't give me answers, so I'm just looking for some advice from anyone who has found a life where they feel like freedom is a part of it while also doing fulfilling work, i.e. the grey area between the two lives I flipped between.

Thanks in advance y'all.


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