I (25f) have never understood why some people do this thing where they will say “hey, would you wanna go with me to do this thing together?”… then you demonstrate interest, then proceed to ask questions related to the thing because you want to see if you actually will be able to go… only to find out that they don’t know/have the logistics of how you’ll go about it. The location, the timing/date, anything at all.
Then they proceed to let you know that they’ll look up info/they have no clue about it but they’ll let you know the details about it; only to disappear. Then the same person will come around and talk about something else unrelated to, or they ignore you until they see you irl then proceed to do it all over again with something else.
Maybe I’m just socially dense but I honestly fail to comprehend what any of it means/what the point of it is. I have a theory that some people equate inviting you out as the same thing as going out regardless of whether you guys do it together or no. Or perhaps, it’s like a weird test that for some reason will not end.
The weirder part is when these individuals say that they feel like you’re nonchalant/they wanna connect with you (or be friends) but when the opportunity arises to do so, it just never happens. But then they will complain and say they don’t “get you”. It always feels like they pretend they want a connection/friendship because when it all boils down to it, they don’t actually want to hangout with you or get to know you but fell like maybe they should give the impression that they do, and yet will act surprised that you’re not moved by their unprovoked empty promises/empty “bids for connection”.
I’m genuinely lost, and I need an actual explanation for this. I’m trying to understand but I honestly don’t get it. It kinda breaks my heart a bit because I always fail to realize that perhaps they don’t actually want to hangout but maybe I’m too naive. I’m trying make new friends but this is the most I’m getting with newer people. I’m learning to keep some people as acquaintances and yet I get excited over false promises to bond.
Help me out and please go easy on me.