Partner of 10 years with 3 kids (13F) (12F) (3M)
I don’t know if I’m just silly or if I have an emotionaly abusive relationship. I feel so drained and ill and exhausted I struggle to put things in to words. Currently on the pathway to an autism diagnosis and I have a child with autism and another with audhd and a 3 year old. I’m constantly made to feel like shit. Partner constantly accuses me of cheating if I’m in my phone. That I should be telling him when someone messages me even if it’s meaningless. Just to prove I’m open and honest. If I don’t do this he’ll deliberately text people and not tell me because ‘ I do it’
I’m constantly told I’m fat and unhealthy and I’m going to die soon because I can’t cope. My toddler wakes up at 5 am so I try to go to bed at 9 10 latest to make sure I get a good night sleep and I’m ready for him in the morning but I’m told I’m unhealthy to sleep that much as my partner stays up till 1-2 in the morning and gets up so why can’t I. I currently have arthritis and bone disease and it causes me pain and having two kids with high needs aswell I’m exhausted.
He smokes and drinks every day. Drinks redbulls. Hardly eats and fasts even when he’s considered anorexic and because sometimes I enjoy a snack after lunch or a leftover takeaway in the morning I’m fat as fuck and disgustingly unhealthy. I don’t smoke or drink and I enjoy herbal tea and water. I try and excersize but I am having a hard time with my bone pain atm.
Feel constantly belittled. Told I’m doing too much. Too little. Because I tidy up as I go along and keep on top of housework supposedly I’m neglecting my children. I struggle a bit with my autism where I like to keep things tidy and organised and have a routine so I know where I am in my day and I’m told to grow up. Constantly told I’m a useless parent because my children have meltdowns and don’t listen very well.
He earns good money for our bills and I’m so embarrassed to admit this but I’ve been told the least I can do is give daily oral sex without wanting anything in return as gratitude. I feel so embarrassed to say that it makes me feel used and uncomfortable if I don’t one night then I get days of silent treatment and told I don’t keep to what I say I’m going to do.
On holiday at the moment. Very first day we get to the airport a few hours early as I over prepared for traffic and hold ups. Not end of the world. Took my kids exploring. But was greeted with thunder and silent treatment for being useless and getting us there too early. For not going to get food immediately at 8pm once we got here. This morning I’ve tidied up and unpacked and cleaned from general kiddie mess and floors and washing and cleaning. Done a food shop. And once I’ve got that done he took himself for a nap and slept for 4 1/2 hours leaving me alone with them all. Still told I’ve been useless and lazy. Not he’s just sat outside on the phone on TikTok smoking and drinking whilst I cuddle our son to sleep in bed.
I feel so broken and unwell daily. Just looking for confirmation I guess. I don’t really read situations very well or social queues.