I genuinely didn’t think I’d have an update so soon, or at all if I’m being honest.

I was feeling pretty good all day yesterday about my resolve to not text him, I went to work, to the gym, and while I was sad, I didn’t let myself mope.

In the evening, I got a text. Not from him but from my ex whom I dated 10 years ago, we’re still close and talk often. He’s one of the most jaded, realest people I know, and never sugarcoats anything for me. If I can count on one person to truly tell me how it is, even if it hurts, it’s him.

I explained a bit of my situation to him. Told him about the date, the immediate aftermath, and the family emergency without going into many details. Again, I want to respect his family’s privacy because I never doubted the validity of the story, just the severity with the timing.

His advice? Text the man. Actually, his exact words were, “Modern dating is crap, but you don’t have to be. You believe the family emergency so who cares if he’s just not that into you. Show up and support him, because that’s what good people do, and you’re a good person.”

So I did. I texted him asking for an update. Then offered to bring him beer from a local brewery, and pizza from the place he told me he loves, on my free night next week. To take his mind off things. I showed up with genuine care, intention, and a plan.

And it worked. He texted back immediately.

A long full update on the situation, an apology for leaving me hanging, and suggestions for pizza toppings. We texted late into the night, until it was me that finally suggested that we both go to bed. His texts were no longer just polite, but had a flirty edge again, and excitement.

Obviously, I can’t predict where things will go from here, but let this serve as a reminder that sometimes you should send that text. Leaving the ball in their court, isn’t always the best option.


4 comments
  1. So very happy to hear this
    I wanted to comment this advice on the last post but it was one of those “found it too late” situations

    If you care about someone, act that way. There’s aren’t any rules to dating. People just pretend there are

  2. I’m happy for you! Sometimes it really is a matter of being the first one to say “I care.” Glad it worked out for you

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