Hello,
I don't often post on Reddit, but I would like some advice about my current relationship.
So I'm feeling overwhelmed by my girlfriend's high standards. We just had another argument this morning. Well, I say argument is it an argument if only one person is angry and attacking the other person?
So every day when I finish work. I go to hers, I shower to make sure I don't smell, and make her bed. I then begin cooking dinner, cleaning as I go as much as possible. I love cooking for her. Though sometimes I get a little sauce on my clothes. I have an apron, but it is very hot in Japan this summer. So I didn't use it. So I ended up with a bit of sauce on my clothes. I think no big deal. I'll finish cooking and get changed. I can treat any strains later.
She gets home, though, and sees I've got sauce on my clothes. Clothes which, in her defence, she bought me, and I should have been more considerate with. I said I was sorry and would get them washed straight away. She freaked out, still saying she's told me to wear an apron or bad clothes to cook. She's right, I should have, but I got home and was really excited to cook a new recipe for her. I just started cooking without thinking about what I was wearing.
I then do the dishes and wash the sides, but I don't do a good job and miss some bits here and there. Which upsets her more. I know I'm not naturally the cleanest, but I'm trying my best to clean up after myself as much as possible.
When she gets triggered by something I do that bothers her. Usually, she'll start listing all my faults or things I've forgotten to do. Some are fair, I do sometimes forget to do certain tasks, but some are just hurtful. One of them was that I came to see her in "ugly" clothes. Which I thought was ok. I'm no fashion icon, admittedly.
It just feels like I'm a child getting told off.
I also don't want to gloss over the good things she does. She does the laundry. She plans good vacations for us. Among other things.
TL;DR: Mine and my Girlfriends standards are different. I'm struggling to meet hers. I want to stop making these mistakes that trigger her.