Using a throwaway account as I don’t want this on my main.
I still live with my parents as I’ve been sheltered and protected from the outside world my entire life. I was homeschooled all through middle and high school and was never allowed to really make friends because my dad thought everyone he didn’t know would be a bad influence on me. So my only “friend” throughout my entire childhood and adolescence was my older brother (he’s also in the same situation as me but doesn’t seem to mind it). I still have no friends to this day besides a couple coworkers I sporadically talk to at work.
I’m not allowed to go anywhere by myself that involves getting in a car. I have a license, but I don’t have a car (my dad doesn’t want me to get one for some reason) and he still drives me everywhere, which is mostly just work, because as you can probably tell, I don’t have much of a life right now. He still plans out my entire day, including what I’m going to eat, and where we’re going to go (if I don’t have work), like seeing my grandparents or going to the store. We sometimes go to places I wanna go to, like guitar classes or the driving range, but again, I ALWAYS have to rely on him to drive me there because he doesn’t want me to drive by myself. He also doesn’t want me to use uber or any ride share app.
He’s been a stay-at-home dad for as long as I remember and hasn’t worked in like 20 years. My mom’s the breadwinner as she has a decent job, but she is also controlled by my dad for the most part (she doesn’t know how to drive as driving wasn’t as prevalent in my mom’s home country so she never learned, so my dad drives her to work as well). But just like my brother, she also doesn’t really mind the situation.
He also has OCD (although he’ll never admit it) and is an extreme germaphobe if that matters. He operates like someone who is not normal and has a system for everything. And if anyone disrupts whatever system he has, such as placing something “dirty” (anything that’s been outside that hasn’t been cleaned off) on the clean counter, he gets upset.
Recently I’ve been feeling like I’ve had enough and want to start actually living my life without his control. I tried to bring these things up to him lately, but his responses are like “you don’t know what you’re talking about because I’m smarter than you” or “I know what the world is like and you don’t” or he just shuts down any conversation by saying things like be quiet, or settle down.
It makes me wanna cry because I don’t want to live the prime of my life under his terms and want to experience things on my own. I don’t have the heart to start an actual argument with him. And I know nothing is ever going to change his mind because he’s been like this forever. I still do care about him and don’t wanna disappoint him, but he’s making me depressed and sick of how he is controlling my every move. I can’t just move out either because obviously he wouldn’t let me, but also because I’m dependent on my parents for some of my expenses (insurance, phone bills). Although I do have a lot saved up to start living by myself but I don’t see that happening with my dad involved.
TL;DR: my dad still treats me like I’m 12 years old and I’m not allowed to do anything on my own despite me wanting to start living my life