I was just thinking recently after almoooost 2 years actively dating since my ex left me. Yeah I thought we were gonna get married, yeah she was the love of my life etc etc I kinda fucked it up and I guess ruined my life in ways I didnt even appreciate until recently. But actually recently I've started to have a sort of dark epiphany. After just shy of 2 years dating dozens of other women and it being same song and dance every time almost. Just not feeling that deep "we could move in together someday" profound connection, and even if you do theres some (or multiple) dealbreakers the ex just didnt have, I've started to think "oh shit… that could very well have been a once in a lifetime experience for me".
It was the best relationship I've ever been in. I mean just perfect. There are a good handful of memories from that I'll likely be recounting on my deathbed. That kinda shit. I know some of you guys out there know what im talking about. I mean it felt like I was in a movie. And just to be loved so deeply and to love back so deeply. Takes a lot. Means a lot. It doesnt just grow on trees. I've started to seriously doubt ill ever be able to recapture that magic again. Dating also gets worse the older you get (lets be honest) and a lot of people just get more stultifying and boring the older they get (lets be honest again). That energy and life of the early and mid 20s is rarely RARELY found in people in their early and mid 30s. I mean thats just a fact. Its axiomatic.
I dont know guys. I just thought i cant be alone in this feeling? Surely other men, (or women!) out there have felt the same?