For some background information- I’m 5 months postpartum and had a traumatic birthing experience. My whole pregnancy I was being monitored and checked because of my high blood pressures and they ruled it to be anxiety driven/some gestational hypertension so I monitored it at home. At around 30 weeks pregnant I noticed my bp getting a little higher, so we monitored closely. At 36 weeks it was at the threshold that I was told to go to the ER for so I went in and they did testing which came back positive for preeclampsia, so they induced me which led to a painful delivery, failed epidural, a second epidural that worked and then me being in the hospital for 6 days trying to find a cocktail of bp meds to keep my blood pressure at a good level for me to go home. I was on meds for 8 weeks following my daughter’s birth and still check my blood pressure everyday. I would like to have another baby at some point, but honestly I’m terrified to have another baby. I’m scared of have preeclampsia again and I’m scared of caring for another baby alongside my daughter. She’s been a very attached baby and I can barely put her down for five minutes without her crying.
My husband and I never pulled out before having my daughter. We did that for 6 years before getting pregnant. Well, now we know we can definitely make babies together so I’ve asked him to pull out or I will buy condoms. He didn’t pull out at 6 weeks postpartum and thought of it as a joke and said that he wanted me to be pregnant again. I told him no, I’m not ready. I had a traumatic pregnancy experience and would like to wait. I’d also love to lose 40 pounds before getting pregnant again, I told him this.
Again, he didn’t pull out so I put condoms in the grocery cart at the store. He took them out and said he would start pulling out. And he did. Until last night when he didn’t after half way through I told him to pull out. He went against my wishes and did not pull out, and I was left feeling disgusted, and disrespected. I have very valid reasons for not wanting to be pregnant again right now. I’m not sure why he thinks this is a joke, but I need to heal mentally and physically before having another potentially traumatic pregnancy.
I don’t want to get divorced, I have a 5 month old baby and I do love him but this behavior is unacceptable, it’s not funny and it’s not respectful towards me. How do I approach this? How do I show him that this is not cool? I think the only reason I’ve avoided pregnancy again so far is because I’m breastfeeding and haven’t had a period yet, but this will only last me so long.