I (31M) found out about a month ago that my friend (27M) I had grown up with, whom I’ve always considered the little brother I never had, didn’t invite me to the wedding. I knew it was coming, but I expected an invite that never came for the wedding that happened recently.
To provide more background on the relationship, our dads worked together and we were always hanging out growing up. We’ve known each other for just over 21 years. There were few weekends we weren’t together. Even when I was in college he would come to my house, walk right in to my room to see if I wanted to hang out. We were close. We stopped seeing each other regularly probably around 7 years ago. I moved across country a few years ago and have seen him only once since then, not for a lack of trying though. He has a busy job and kid so getting together when I’m home isn’t always an option as I’m only home for a few days at a time. We went our separate ways in life for sure, but I’d always be there for him when needed. I had always been thinking when I get married that he would be in the wedding, and now I’m not sure since I didn’t even get an invite to his.
I’m not mad at all, I’m upset. I moved away to better myself. Part of the trade off is the friends and family I sorely miss. Am I the best at keeping in touch regularly? No. But most of my family and friends understand that and always pick off right where we left off. I don’t have many friends where I moved, and I rely heavily on my girlfriend.
This has just hit me hard. I feel like part of the reason I didn’t get the invite is our parents aren’t friends anymore. I think there was some falling out but I have never been told what happened. But that shouldn’t matter. We still had a good chunk of our lives that we spent together but did that mean nothing?
I did ask him why I wasn’t invited, and he gave what seemed like the AI generated response of financials and the guest list getting out of hand. But there were people who were invited and went that I was genuinely shocked at. I told him I understood. And I do, but part of me feels like it was bullshit. I feel like I’m bottom of the totem pole. I would be on a plane that day if he or any of my friends needed me. I feel like I value my relationships with people more than they value it on their end. Am I in the wrong for feeling upset? Should I accept that it was really just the financials that I didn’t get an invite?
TLDR: didn’t get invited to friends wedding who was always like a little brother. He cited financials but parents were no longer friends due to a falling out. Am I in the wrong for being friends?