I am 21 F and I am dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. I really love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I see my future with him. Yeah we have had our ups and downs but I would choose him over and over again.
The problem is he says he is having a hard time falling in love with me. His words and I quote "I love you with my brain. But I wanna love you with my heart". Yeah it hurt me but I wanna make this work. Also if I may say I have abandonment issues, my father walked out on us when I was a kid. Not that it matters but yeah I used to fight with him a lot because of my insecurity.(i had a few relationships before where I was cheated on multiple times and he had a few where he was cheated on too)
I just feel so helpless. I am trying to be understanding but I don't know what I should do. He says I am his type but still he can't love me. I dont wanna force love. But how should I move forward with this? I feel so unlovable and feel all of this is my fault.
But I know he is not actively talking or looking for other women. But he says he doesn't feel those butterflies or the excitement with me. And I even gave him the option to breakup for the better good. He doesn't want that either.
Even if I behave good it doesn't change anything. He says he felt a bit of it with a few of his exes. But it just doesn't happen with me. He is fairly attractive too, so finding someone wouldn't be difficult for him. I did everything possible for me to be a good gf and I still don't understand what I am lacking. I never asked for anything more than just love. And I just want a solution. I wanna make this work but I am getting emotionally hurt trying to be understanding.
TLDR: My boyfriend doesn't love me but doesn't want to breakup either. And i dont know how to solve this. I need advice.