TL;DR: 2nd relationship, having issues involving lack of empathy and moving. Any advice?
My Boyfriend 18M and I 18F have dated for about 7 months now. For background this is my second relationship the last one was 2 years long and ended up being a toxic relationship that ended with my ex cheating.
I love my boyfriend a lot. He’s very supportive and sweet and I want to support him no matter what. But lately I’ve been running into some issues. He’s quite forgetful for many details, he has issues showing empathy and I have risks/ already have several issues with my body like thyroid diseases or other issues with my health. Which he seems a little grossed out by and kinda leaves it to me to handle. Obviously I don’t expect him to be a servant or to take over his own life. But I’d like to hear more than an “uh oh” or at least not tell me to skip my medication just because I need more sleep. Same when I ask for opinions. I’d like to hear more than a “sure” or “gotcha” when I’m trying to ask him about what he thinks or when I talk about something.
Again I know I shouldn’t expect him to make his whole life out of it. I don’t want him to. I don’t want those issues to take over my life either.
Another issue is he’s a bit more clingy to my preference. Yes I want him to hug and cuddle. I love those things. But there’s been several occasions where he has physically pulled me away from my friends while talking without asking or communicating to me first. Or he jumps to being mad at my friends simply because they disagree with me. I know he’s trying to be protective and loving. But sometimes it is a little much for me. He’s also made a couple comments on my body. It wasn’t direct. But he said he if I wanted to change the way I look. He would prefer it. Later it was brought up again. Saying he was an AH for saying it. But he didn’t seem to really deny it after either. And now it seems like he just ignores parts of my body, not exactly liking them. I know people have preferences. And I’m probably not considered stereotypically attractive, but if I’m honest that comment really haunts me a lot.
Personally I’ve tried to let it go Because I know he tries his best. We do communicate about those things quite a bit. He’s done a lot for me, We’ve never had a fight and he’s pretty supportive. But I also may move away for college while he stays here. I’ve done long distance before. But I’m not sure if I want to put either of us through it. There’s a lot in my head right now debating if I was pushed into this relationship too fast. (I told my friend I liked him after 4 months from getting out of the last relationship and she pretty much told him and set us up on a date) Or if I really want to spend the rest of my life with him. Because if he struggles to understand my conditions now how will that affect it later in life? I love him a lot. But I don’t know if I love him in all the right ways to make a working relationship right now.
Most of my family married early or stuck with someone from a young age. And a lot of my family is now divorced or single parents by now. I don’t want to be in that situation. So I ask as someone who’s pretty inexperienced with this sort of thing, is there any advice. Because I’m not sure what’s best. Breaking up with him to find someone who works better for his preferences? Try to talk to him again? Or wait it out longer and see. I’m not sure what to do right now or even how I feel. All I know is either way I do care about him. And I want both of us to have a good life without hurting each other.
I also apologize for the long post. It’s hard for me to get out what I feel to turn it into words lol.