How does the feminine word-form of professions (ex: authoress, waitress, priestess, seamstress, etc) make u feel? Do you “like” it, does it feel validating, does it feel belittling, or what?
August 1, 2025
How does the feminine word-form of professions (ex: authoress, waitress, priestess, seamstress, etc) make u feel? Do you “like” it, does it feel validating, does it feel belittling, or what?
39 comments
Start out by saying that I am 70 and I always liked the -ess endings for women. I still do but I understand it’s not being used much anymore.
It just feels unnecessary. What does my gender have to do with my job?
I don’t particularly care. I. Old enough that I grew up when they were the norm, and watched the language change. I still use a few out of old habit – I tend to say actress, for instance. But mostly they aren’t necessary and I’m fine with them disappearing
I like them. The masculine forms don’t feel quite right for me, but know many people consider the masculine forms to simply be neutral.
Its not something ive ever thought about so ig im indifferent
I don’t care about most but some are just linguistically awkward to me. Like, waitress feels fine when talking about a female server (I say this as one who did it for years). But “authoress” makes my eye twitch, it’s just awkward to me
Sometimes I use them and sometimes I don’t, but I don’t find them belittling or validating. They’re just neutral words in my brain.
Not sure if I feel any particular way about them other than I think they are bit outdated. Although I am not in either profession, I was rather happy to hear the title “flight attendant” rather than “stewardess” and “server”as opposed to “waitress.”
I’m not bothered at all. Outdated terms, irrelevant detail but every other language genders every noun and adjective. This is just remnants of when that was important. There’s no sexism. Just remnants of how our language used to be
I’m going to go update my business cards to Geologistess.
It’s fine.
I’ve started saying Manageress for female managers to be cheeky. Otherwise I don’t care. Fun fact, the entertainment industry uses Actor for all genders these days and has slowly opted out of “Actress”
I absolutely do not care.
Hate it. It’s barely one tiny step up from -ette.
I don’t use them. They’re unnecessary. Why make a distinction between a man and woman doing the same job?
What actually opened my eyes to that was way back in 2006 or 2007 when I was in HS, I took a drama class for a credit I needed and my drama teacher, a really great guy and great teacher who I am friends with to this day despite not caring about drama class, refused to use the word “actress” and when someone asked why, he explained pretty much what I said. They’re all actors. They all do the same job.
What the fuck is an authoress?
I don’t care either way, but I do love the endings with -trix. Like “aviator” to “aviatrix”.
I don’t care, unless the standard word is something with the word man in it. (Mailman, fireman, etc.)
Some of it I think is unnecessary.
What is the male equivalent of seamstress? Seamster? Seamstro?
For me is more about how the word flies. Actress, seamstress, waitress – those all flow well. But when it’s just the male term with “ess” tagged on the back it feels awkward and unnecessary.
Then again, priestess sounds kind of badass, so its not a universal rule.
I don’t really use them. I’m an actor. There is a certain association with ‘actress’ and ‘doe-eyed and vulnerable’ that I don’t want to evoke while I’m trying to work. You don’t say “doctoress.”
On another note, it’s extra weird when the word is separate for women ANYWAY. Like seamstress. The ones who do male clothing typically are called tailors. And typically men would do men’s and women would do women’s. Why is the -ess necessary? Did we used to call tailors seamsters??
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I’m indifferent. Authoress sounds really odd to me, though. Just not a term I’ve ever encountered, unlike the other examples.
So I guess while I don’t really care about them, ones that I haven’t frequently encountered might sound forced/odd to me.
I guess it depends which one. Some like actress or waitress have been common in my lifetime so I don’t think much of them, but it’s probably good to keep moving toward non-gendered terms. Something like priestess sounds fitting in a fantasy novel or maybe some witchy type religion. But things like authoress or comedienne sound really strange and archaic to me.
It seems odd in a mostly un-gendered language. I’m also trying to be more mindful of not using binary gendered language to avoid misgendering someone or putting them in a category they aren’t comfortable with.
My late sister was one. It is now acceptable to refer to your server as a waiter, regardless of gender.
I don’t particularly care, but I find it stupid when we make a new clunkier term because the old title is seen as a pejorative when it’s actually just female-coded. There’s nothing wrong with being a stewardess, secretary, waitress, or teacher. Then again, my title (Chef) is not needlessly gendered, so maybe I would feel differently as a Chefette
I say I don’t care, but when I get called a female truck driver, I respond with “I’m just a driver”.
I don’t really care but I might feel different if my title had one of these. I’m just an – ist
I brew beer and technically the female version of “brewer” is “brewster” which almost sounds *more* masculine to me? Lol I always just say brewer though.
I don’t like it and I think we should be past it by now… especially because there aren’t only two genders, and some people don’t identify with either
Loan Officeress and Forageress are hard to say, I am glad my professions do not have gender-specific titles.
It is unnecessary to ascribe gender to a profession, I try to use gender-neutral terms like server, firefighter, mail-carrier, or actor for everyone, regardless of gender.
Some of the gendered language bothers me. I don’t appreciate that the defaults (policeman, fireman, lineman, mailman) often seem to show that women are the exception.
Personally, not a fan. You don’t call a female doctor a “doctress” nor a female dentist a “dentress.” You don’t call an accountant an accountress.. She is a doctor. She is a dentist. She is an accountant. So why would it be different for other professions?
I prefer to use the professional title with the higher pay rate. Usually that is not the -ess version of the profession. It feels invalidating and belittling to be paid less for the same work.
Indifferent until it gets weird.
I’m a waiter, nah
I’m a waitress , cool
I’m a biophysicist, cool
I’m a biophysi***stress*** ??
A tongue twister too?
My lisp could never
I stopped using it unless I’m being ironic. “Airplane pilotess”
Unnecessary, personally. For me, it delineates us for no reason.
my language is hard gendered and I swear by feminine terms for professions, save for a very selected few who’re gender neutral as an exception in the language. Too bad my first ever female president doesn’t feel the same 😖 (she complained about being called “female president” and said she wants to be called “male president”.. it’s not surprising she’s far right..)
39 comments
Start out by saying that I am 70 and I always liked the -ess endings for women. I still do but I understand it’s not being used much anymore.
It just feels unnecessary. What does my gender have to do with my job?
I don’t particularly care. I. Old enough that I grew up when they were the norm, and watched the language change. I still use a few out of old habit – I tend to say actress, for instance. But mostly they aren’t necessary and I’m fine with them disappearing
I like them. The masculine forms don’t feel quite right for me, but know many people consider the masculine forms to simply be neutral.
Its not something ive ever thought about so ig im indifferent
I don’t care about most but some are just linguistically awkward to me. Like, waitress feels fine when talking about a female server (I say this as one who did it for years). But “authoress” makes my eye twitch, it’s just awkward to me
Sometimes I use them and sometimes I don’t, but I don’t find them belittling or validating. They’re just neutral words in my brain.
Not sure if I feel any particular way about them other than I think they are bit outdated. Although I am not in either profession, I was rather happy to hear the title “flight attendant” rather than “stewardess” and “server”as opposed to “waitress.”
I’m not bothered at all. Outdated terms, irrelevant detail but every other language genders every noun and adjective. This is just remnants of when that was important. There’s no sexism. Just remnants of how our language used to be
I’m going to go update my business cards to Geologistess.
It’s fine.
I’ve started saying Manageress for female managers to be cheeky. Otherwise I don’t care. Fun fact, the entertainment industry uses Actor for all genders these days and has slowly opted out of “Actress”
I absolutely do not care.
Hate it. It’s barely one tiny step up from -ette.
I don’t use them. They’re unnecessary. Why make a distinction between a man and woman doing the same job?
What actually opened my eyes to that was way back in 2006 or 2007 when I was in HS, I took a drama class for a credit I needed and my drama teacher, a really great guy and great teacher who I am friends with to this day despite not caring about drama class, refused to use the word “actress” and when someone asked why, he explained pretty much what I said. They’re all actors. They all do the same job.
What the fuck is an authoress?
I don’t care either way, but I do love the endings with -trix. Like “aviator” to “aviatrix”.
I don’t care, unless the standard word is something with the word man in it. (Mailman, fireman, etc.)
Some of it I think is unnecessary.
What is the male equivalent of seamstress? Seamster? Seamstro?
For me is more about how the word flies. Actress, seamstress, waitress – those all flow well. But when it’s just the male term with “ess” tagged on the back it feels awkward and unnecessary.
Then again, priestess sounds kind of badass, so its not a universal rule.
I don’t really use them. I’m an actor. There is a certain association with ‘actress’ and ‘doe-eyed and vulnerable’ that I don’t want to evoke while I’m trying to work. You don’t say “doctoress.”
On another note, it’s extra weird when the word is separate for women ANYWAY. Like seamstress. The ones who do male clothing typically are called tailors. And typically men would do men’s and women would do women’s. Why is the -ess necessary? Did we used to call tailors seamsters??
[removed]
I’m indifferent. Authoress sounds really odd to me, though. Just not a term I’ve ever encountered, unlike the other examples.
So I guess while I don’t really care about them, ones that I haven’t frequently encountered might sound forced/odd to me.
I guess it depends which one. Some like actress or waitress have been common in my lifetime so I don’t think much of them, but it’s probably good to keep moving toward non-gendered terms. Something like priestess sounds fitting in a fantasy novel or maybe some witchy type religion. But things like authoress or comedienne sound really strange and archaic to me.
It seems odd in a mostly un-gendered language. I’m also trying to be more mindful of not using binary gendered language to avoid misgendering someone or putting them in a category they aren’t comfortable with.
My late sister was one. It is now acceptable to refer to your server as a waiter, regardless of gender.
I don’t particularly care, but I find it stupid when we make a new clunkier term because the old title is seen as a pejorative when it’s actually just female-coded. There’s nothing wrong with being a stewardess, secretary, waitress, or teacher. Then again, my title (Chef) is not needlessly gendered, so maybe I would feel differently as a Chefette
I say I don’t care, but when I get called a female truck driver, I respond with “I’m just a driver”.
I don’t really care but I might feel different if my title had one of these. I’m just an – ist
I brew beer and technically the female version of “brewer” is “brewster” which almost sounds *more* masculine to me? Lol I always just say brewer though.
I don’t like it and I think we should be past it by now… especially because there aren’t only two genders, and some people don’t identify with either
Loan Officeress and Forageress are hard to say, I am glad my professions do not have gender-specific titles.
It is unnecessary to ascribe gender to a profession, I try to use gender-neutral terms like server, firefighter, mail-carrier, or actor for everyone, regardless of gender.
Some of the gendered language bothers me. I don’t appreciate that the defaults (policeman, fireman, lineman, mailman) often seem to show that women are the exception.
Personally, not a fan. You don’t call a female doctor a “doctress” nor a female dentist a “dentress.” You don’t call an accountant an accountress.. She is a doctor. She is a dentist. She is an accountant. So why would it be different for other professions?
I prefer to use the professional title with the higher pay rate. Usually that is not the -ess version of the profession. It feels invalidating and belittling to be paid less for the same work.
Indifferent until it gets weird.
I’m a waiter, nah
I’m a waitress , cool
I’m a biophysicist, cool
I’m a biophysi***stress*** ??
A tongue twister too?
My lisp could never
I stopped using it unless I’m being ironic. “Airplane pilotess”
Unnecessary, personally. For me, it delineates us for no reason.
my language is hard gendered and I swear by feminine terms for professions, save for a very selected few who’re gender neutral as an exception in the language. Too bad my first ever female president doesn’t feel the same 😖 (she complained about being called “female president” and said she wants to be called “male president”.. it’s not surprising she’s far right..)