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Haven’t posted here in awhile. So a lot of updates.
1) Lost my job in April, got a new job a couple weeks ago which is cool. It’s total dysfunctional but it’s a job.
2) Woman I was seeing and I broke up a couple weeks after my job loss. It all feels a bit tied together but I try not to let it bother me much.
3) I avoided dating while unemployed. I’ve been on a few first dates since getting my job offer. Couple normal okayish dates with decent conversation but no chemistry.
4) One absolutely horrible date where the moment I walked in until 25-30 minutes later when she faked being sick was just pure torture. Would only respond to questions, not ask any, I tried stories, questions, anything to get her interested or involved. It was awful.
5) I have a first date tonight, it kind of just happened. We matched on Hinge, was telling her about this new place I wanted to try that just opened, she said it was on her list to, and now we are going tonight. Hoping it goes better than the last date. Pray for me.
Second guessing a left swipe on the app, because of self imposed rule about someone having a social media account name in their bio being a orange to red flag, wondering if I should pay to reswipe on them.
Next person in stack different photos different bio with exact same social media account listed at the bottom of theirs.
Yeah ok, thanks universe for reinforcing my pattern recognition skills. 🤣
They were both verified accounts so not sure how to feel about that.
So I couldn’t go to the speed dating thing I booked weeks ago due to being unwell but wrote a nice email to them and they let me move it.
However I am not too disappointed because I have been reconnecting with my ex this week. He reached out to me first because he just accomplished something he’s been working on for multiple years.
We’ve talked on the phone and have plans coming up. I will be able to talk to him at the plans. I am prepared to accept his answer either way on getting back together but am trying to give signs I would be into it so hopefully it won’t come as a shock when I bring this up in person.
How long could you do one date a week with someone you really liked?
I think she’s the bee’s knees but she’s warned me she doesn’t have time for me, and I have my own theories that this is a way to keep some walls up.
I watched Together yesterday. What a fantastic film, I loved it! But damn it made me really miss being in a relationship in a way I haven’t felt in forever.
Story time: I feel like the universe is playing a bit of a joke on me, or trying to teach me a lesson, but I’m not sure which.
I lived in SmallTown for about 7 years. Towards the end, I decided that I didn’t want to live there longterm, for several reasons. Although certainly not the *main* reason, a non-zero factor was that I was a single guy swiftly approaching my mid-30s, and I felt like I knew everyone in SmallTown, and it just wasn’t super likely I would find the right person there.
About 2 years ago I moved to BigCity and started a new fancy job. Loved the city, loved meeting people there, it went really well – but I hated the job, quit, and decided to take some time to really evaluate my priorities and decide what I was looking for in a place where I could eventually lay down roots.
Earlier this year, I started a new job in MediumBurg. Love the job, and MediumBurg is big enough that there’s stuff to do and people to meet, but not oppressively big. I’m living with family and commuting a bit, but am in the process of finding my own place.
About a month ago, I met a friend of a friend at a little weekend gathering. We hit it off, and have been seeing each other twice a week. Similar interests, goals, ideas about big-picture stuff… I tend to take a while to warm up to people, but not with her – she’s just so easy for me to talk to, to be around. It’s early, but I haven’t been this excited about someone in a long time.
The punchline: she lives in a house… she just bought… in SmallTown, two hours away from MediumBurg!!!
Epilogue: I’ve committed to seeing her twice a week for now while we get to know each other – at least one night each week and each weekend. I’m doing a lot of driving (which I don’t mind at all, it’s just a lot of time!). I’m clearly getting ahead of myself, but I know that if things keep going well, something’s going to have to give. But at this point, I’m just trying to keep moving things forward without rushing, so that we can both decide whether this is something we could see lasting, and what changes would need to take place for that to happen.
There’s a social mixer in my city next Saturday night. It’s cheap ($13, which includes a drink, although I don’t drink alcohol). It’s NOT advertised as a singles event, though. It’s being put on by a Facebook social group that I hear puts on good/popular events so I suppose there will be quite a few people there.
How do people approach events like this? Every time I attend an event like this, I have wonderful conversations with people but fail to ever get a way to keep in touch with anyone, and then of course never see them again. It’s very deflating; I feel great in the moment but afterwards feel like shit because my ‘goal’ is always to try and find one or two friends/people to at least talk to again. Should that even be my goal? How do people talk to others at events like this?
Also, do I need a dummy social media account? All I can give people is my personal phone number (or, I guess email, but that’s extremely archaic) and I guess a lot of people (women especially) don’t like giving out personal phone numbers to strangers. Also, very few people use Reddit like I do (compared to FB/IG/Snap etc).
I have a first date today, which I’m a little too excited about so hopefully it’s not a bust 🤞.
So I’ve been thinking lately about whether or not dating is even worth the time. I have gone to quite a few singles events at this point and I feel like I am not meeting people I am interested in.
I’m not so concerned about the money but trying to date, going to work, and keeping up with my existing friends and social networks seems like a huge challenge. It feels like a balancing act.
I wish I found more people attractive. Honestly I think my main challenge is that my standards might be too high? But I find it hard to date people I’m just not attracted to for whatever reason.
Maybe there isn’t a person for me…
Also, I find that women seem more comfortable with being single than men are. It seems like there’s more internalized pressure to date from men while a lot of women I’ve met seem to have a healthier attitude on dating. They seem to have the perspective that if they can’t find the right person, that it’s ok. While men seem to be more in despair if they are struggling with dating.
I’ve been dating this guy for two months and it feels great. Last night we went to dinner then he came over for a little while and at some point he snuck a really sweet note into the book I’m reading. It fell out when I went to read in bed after he’d left and I nearly died 🥹
My birthday is next week, and my girlfriend has been out of town. She asked me to pick up a package a couple of days ago, which I’m about 90% sure is my birthday present.
Somewhat by accident, I noticed who sent the package to her and it is a reasonably well-known local artist from where I am from. I’m worried she’s bought me an expensive piece of art (likely well over $300), and I am a bit uncomfortable accepting a gift like that. I’ve told her before that the only thing I wanted on my birthday is for her to be there, and I didn’t need any big gifts. Any advice?
Match I was feeling good about fizzled out. A few weeks of consistent dates with good chemistry, daily chatting and voice notes, even a few phone calls, only to be told he didn’t see a long-term connection out of the blue. I really liked how we were together, so I hate having to start from zero with someone new.
I got coffee with a friend who knew my ex before I met him and the toxic shit she’s told me about him is so wild. I was literally twelve days out from marrying this man when he walked out on me. Love truly is blind. 😵💫