TLDR: My sister gives me the silent treatment every time she is upset forcing me to apologize to break the silence. After our most recent argument she blocked me on all social media. I’m over it and want to just to end but we live in the same home. Would it be bad of me to exclude her from family plans like my college graduation that’s coming soon? I feel guilty.

Growing up my twin sister (22F) and I (22F) were in constant competition and comparison. Our relationship was really bad, there were many physical altercations, but in recent years it’s calmed down.

Right now, I can barely bring myself to say I like her. She always wants to be the winner in any situation. I’ve been growing resentment toward her after how she’s treated me. She used to have her in-person and online friends attack me, post hateful things about me, etc. She explained it was during a time she didn’t have therapy, but I never enabled anyone to send her threatening voice notes or awful tweets.

My parents enabled her since we were kids. I told them to focus on her and stop labeling me as the bad child. They never listened. They called me a bully just because I spoke up. The enablement continues, my mom lets her skate by without holding up her end of the deal: to attend college if we want to live at home. She’s dropped out, transferred, moved in and out, and still doesn’t have a solid plan. I don’t shame starting college late, I encourage it. But she enrolls in classes she doesn’t study for, drops out “for her mental,” and spends money on clothes and outings. Meanwhile, she mocks me for working, taking summer classes, and catching up. I clap back, “Guess who’s graduating soon?”, just to shut her down.

My mom rented out my room to help with bills, so I sleep on the couch, while my sister keeps a room while never holding up her part of the expectation. She thinks she’s fine because my mom allows it. They haven’t spoken in two years, even though we all live under the same roof.

The last time we spoke, we argued about seeing Superman. Sounds silly, but she has an issue with time management. I bought us 4DX tickets, and the deal was she’d drive and pay for food. We had to be at the theater by 3:40. I like getting there early for snacks and ads. She used that time to get ready. We ended up shouting; she told me to leave on my own, so I did and refunded her ticket. She showed up anyway, got her own ticket, and got upset. In line, she started tearing up. I asked what she could possibly be crying for (I know harsh). She walked away, and we sat separately.

Since then, nothing. I tried reaching out, she blocked me on everything. I’m done playing this mind game. I’m exhausted chasing someone who won’t let me be human. I told my parents and friends I won’t include her in my graduation. I wanted to set a time frame for us to talk before completely excluding her, but my family says that’s cold-hearted. Maybe it is, but maybe that’s what I need to live life for myself.


Leave a Reply