TLDR: Apparently one small mistake ruined a good two months of good stuff when I went to see my LD girlfriend and I feel like she’s hyper fixated on it.
So basically around 2 months ago a girl (22F) I (M23) used to just hang out with and sometimes go out with during college contacted me out of the blue. It had been a year of no contact but she was really interesting and we liked each other. Only problem was she lived a state away so we could only talk over phone. Anyway I felt it was working out well because we were all over each other, she said she couldn’t get enough of me and stuff. She was always really bubbly and nice. I thought everything was honky dory. Sending each other picks, flirting, laughing, spending time on games the whole shebang. She even insinuated that I was someone she was thinking about being with long term. It was all crazy but fun and I was alright with it. That was until we saw each other in person for the first time.
So I drove up to her state (which btw was her idea and she was very excited about it). When we got together I thought we had a blast. Couldn’t detect a hint of displeasure at all. Until on the night before leaving she randomly texted me she didn’t feel like she liked me anymore and quickly wanted to end it. Mainly by saying I gave her “the ick” (cheap phrase btw). It wasn’t until the following day I was told I had dishonored her home by being “too comfy”. Like through sitting with her pillows and leaving shoes around. Stuff she never said was bothering her. Stuff she said she was “silently communicating” to me. Whatever that means. She feels that this has completely turned her off of the whole relationship and now she’s very cold and talks like we’re barely acquaintances. Which is baffling because I really do like this girl a LOT but the fact she isn’t budging on what I feel like are small slights I can work on is crazy to me. It’s not like I was destroying her apartment and I asked if I could do anything in there before actually doing it. We talked about it and she said she needed to think things through for a bit. It’s not like she doesn’t secretly think I’m ugly or anything either she said this is just the main thing. Oh that and physical chemistry. Which makes no sense to me. She said she was expecting a jolt but nothing happened. Which seems normal to me. I just liked being next to her after all.
I guess the point is have any of yall been through this? Being with someone who hyper fixates so much on small bad things they get tunnel vision and can’t even see the good things? Was what I did wrong at all to you guys? Is this considered a red flag? I mean if she can’t compromise on this seemingly small thing then what happens when something larger pops up in the future?