I’m 18F and my boyfriend is 20M. We’ve been together for a year, and we both love each other deeply. We’ve even talked about getting married someday. But there’s one thing we fundamentally disagree on — having children.
I’ve always known that I don’t want to have kids. It’s a decision I feel very certain about. He, on the other hand, has made it clear that he absolutely wants to be a father in the future. I told him that if having children is non-negotiable for him, he should consider finding someone else who shares that goal.
But he responded by saying that he wants kids, and he wants them with me. He even said something along the lines of “people act crazy in love, and you’ll have kids because you love me.” That made me really uncomfortable, because it felt like he was dismissing my feelings entirely and assuming I’ll just change my mind.
Now I’m at a point where I want to break up, but he doesn’t want to let me go. I feel stuck. I know I won’t change my mind about having kids, and I don’t want to string him along or be pressured into something I don’t want.
How do I help him understand that this relationship just won’t work out long-term?
I don’t hate him — I just don’t want to sacrifice something so personal and important to me. I’d appreciate any advice on how to handle this conversation and situation in the most respectful but firm way.
TL;DR : I’m 18F, my boyfriend is 20M. Together for 1 year. He wants kids no matter what, I absolutely don’t. He believes I’ll change my mind because I love him. I want to break up, but he won’t accept it. How do I make him understand that this won’t work?