We have been together a little over two years, but just engaged a few months . We are in the height of wedding planning and has been arguing quite a bit lately about various things. We usually never fight like this, but it has definitely brought out the worst in us and brought out some tremendous stress. Usually, we apologize and move on or talk through it before it gets to a point that it’s too much.
We got into an argument last night about how we haven’t been having sex lately (brought up by me), and I told him that it’s important that we don’t go to bed angry, and that we continue to prioritize sex in our relationship.
He then got super defensive and said “I used to have sex with Blair every day multiple times a day, her and I never fought!” *blair is a fake name of course for his ex.
I felt like I had been shot after he said that. I don’t know why he would say something that would hurt me so bad or cut me so deeply when I’m trying to literally fix something that needs fixing in our relationship and I’m aware of it. I’m pretty sure the reason he never fought with his ex is because they didn’t actually talk about anything and they basically only met up to sleep together from what he told me.
I just don’t know how I can get past what he said and now I don’t even feel comfortable being intimate with him because it’s all I can think about is that he’s comparing me to her. I’ve put the wedding planning on a pause for now. We’ve already paid so much towards this. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but what he said really hurt me. I’ve told him this and all he has said was that he was sorry and he doesn’t know why he said it, but it’s done. What can I do?
His parents are in town and I’m supposed to go to dinner with them tonight. They just gave us some money for the wedding and I know that if I don’t go they will know that something is wrong. I would feel really guilty not going .
He has begged for my forgiveness all morning, but I just don’t want to talk to him. I don’t wanna see his face. I can’t even look at him the same. My heart literally hurts and I know that’s stupid.
I told him I don’t know how we’re gonna get past this and he keeps telling me to just give him a chance, but I don’t know if I want to. I know that maybe I just need some time and maybe we need to go to premarital counseling but everything is still fresh right now.
TLDR: my ex compared me sexually to his ex during an argument