[28M] here getting back into the dating scene. Just got done with a 2nd date with someone and I'm struggling to understand whether I want to move forward with a 3rd date.
Overall, the person makes sense on paper. She is nice, we have good conversations, are values and goals are decently aligned, but I'm not feeling that IT factor I've had in all of my previous relationships where you walk away wanting to spend more time with them and are excited to get that next message from them. I think the person I'm seeing is pretty attractive but they're not giving me butterflies or making me nervous because I'm so physically attracted to them.
This is how I felt in all of my previous LTRs. The fact I don't feel that right now, is that my intuitive sign to call it quits?
However, all of my previous LTRs started off sexually. This person I met formally on Hinge, says she's "traditonal", but after a second date, I didn't even feel compelled or receive signals from them to hold hands, let alone try for a kiss or anything past that. When we sit next to each other, I try to scoot closer so we're touching, but it's not reciprocated.
I've never been in a situation yet where someone makes total sense on paper but being with them, just not feeling that fire. I've also never been in a relationship that has a slow starting pace.
I feel like the fact that all of my LTRs started sexually has made me biased and warped my perspective on how a good relationship is supposed to start.
Is it too early for that IT factor to develop since I'm taking a more formal/slow approach vs starting off the relationship sexually?
Is it normal to feel this way and need to let these things grow into sexual attraction? Or is my intuition right and that IT factor is just not there?