The common advice here has moved more towards meeting people irl, during events, hobbies, school, university, work, through friends etc. but despite wanting to find somebody, I have trouble convincing myself that it's worth it or the advice is even realistic.
I work partially remote, partially in the office. I don't really have anyone in my team that I would like to build a connection with, plus, anyway I wouldn't want it as it is mixing work and personal stuff too much. Outside of my team, it's a different story, but I almost never have a chance to interact with those people. I never have any work related topics with them, so no starting point there. The integration event is maybe once a year, sometimes not at all, this is historically where I had the most chances to talk to people outside of my team in an informal way, the other being trainings, which are also very rare and I have no influence over who will be there. Every time I walk past, people just seem so busy. They never seem to go for a coffee/tea break at the same time as I do, or even at all, so I have trouble catching them for a chat. All and all we are still at work, I have things to do, they have things to do. I even had an incredibly stupid idea to hang out with the people smoking, even though I do not, as they seem like the ones with most opportunities to socialize…
After work I just go home and do my hobbies/interests that I already have, and since most of them are solitary that's kind of the end of the story. I could start some social ones, but the thing is I know I will like them less than my current ones. I already have my hobbies.
I am no longer in school or university.
Events are usually a one time thing, and to build some sort of rapport/familiarity you need repeated contact with the same people, which the above things actually do provide, they just suck in other ways
Through friends would be the best option, and I do have some friends, but there is rarely any "new joiners" and it is hard to get them to do something anyway. Nobody does house parties anymore, maybe aside from birthdays. The often cited behavior of setting up people is not really a thing.
Basically everything in my thinking part of the brain tells me that it's not worth it, yet the feeling part of myself would like to find someone. How do you reconcile those 2 things? Is this advice just meant for a different kind of person or what?