Why is it so easy for most people to get into relationships?

10 comments

1. Will read the comments here in this post cause this is exactly what ive been feeling. People just tell me to ‘put yourself out there’ and I do??!! But nothing. Its just disappointments

2. First, don’t think that it’s because you are unattractive. It could be that you’re picky and maybe also not someone who takes initiative.

   I’ve seen people in real life where the internet would say they are unattractive inside and out who can get into a relationship very quickly but it doesn’t mean the relationship is long lasting or is “the right one”. Their requirements bar usually is very very very low.

   Then there’s the other side where the person is considered conventionally attractive and relationships just comes easily for them because they are social enough to meet people and either people make the effort to take initiative with them or they take initiative.

3. Obviously good looks and conventional attractiveness will boost your dating life but sometimes it’s just about luck/chemistry. People who don’t fit “the beauty standard” sometimes just end up getting lucky and finding their person.

4. Nah maybe naïveté. I’m saying no to it nowadays. The more logical you are, the harder it is to couple up for real.

5. There a missing piece where most people say shit like be yourself are usually the ones most of time receives the sliver platter treatment, this is just my opinion but, it does feel very condescending especially people also struggle to find releationships due to mutiple factors and luck is a major factor too, and don’t let people tell you its not.

   But the missing piece of the “be yourself” factor is that, you’ll have to figure out and work towards people that your both attracted too but “also” feel comfortable & relaxed to be around.

   Since usally we get super nervous around people that we feel extremely attracted too but find it very hard to muster proper conversations and wording to projectile our best selves to those people.

6. Keep in mind that a lot of people couple up for what is essentially appearances. They are just playing a role— they’re not actually falling in love. It’s sad but… it happens. People get into relationships for different reasons. Maybe you are looking for something real, which is rare

7. My friends are never single, they are always dating.

   Now, it’s about who they are dating.

   I’ll give you two examples :

   – The first one never had a female friend he didn’t sleep with, women around him are also women who hate being single and need to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
   – The second one is currently dating a woman who is already in a “serious” relationship. He claims he feels a little guilty because he knows her official boyfriend, and he had a pinch in the heart when he had dinner with the two of them last week, and he screwed the girlfriend after the boyfriend left for work.

   I prefer a thousand time to be in my situation, where I struggle to date.

8. I can’t really give a good advice, just that maybe you might be overestimating the “easy” part – might be easy for some, but surely not everyone. You say “without even trying” but how are you so sure about that?

   A relative of mine complained that I am “talented at English and they are not”. Well “talented” – I also poured thousands of hours into immersion and they did almost zero, so their perception that it’s effortless on my part is very off

   Have you asked your friends about this?

   You say you got a few dates… that’s still more successful than me

   I’m not really one to give advice about this, but if I were to hazard a guess:

   – Don’t focus on forcing it

   – Think of it rather as finding a new friend (although not completely)

   – Be genuinely interested in what they are saying, be listening, be actually listening

   – Have a lot to talk about (and ideally not too much of self-praise)

   I wouldn’t give a more specific list, I’m not sure it’s even possible. Sure, “be yourself” is vague, but then this is about finding a soulmate, not a step-by-step guide to building Ikea drawer

9. It’s always been easy for me to end up in a relationship, I don’t think it’s a good thing and a big reason why I’ve taken a break. It’s easy for me because all my relationships start the same way. They were never intentional, I meet someone and they are fun to be around, then things get intimate (fwb). After a while we both realize that we are spending our spare time together and we are only being intimate with each other so we agree to be official and before you know it years has gone by.

10. i think its because theyre not really looking for it, it just kinda happens which i feel like is so hard to do nowadays. they dont make it their center, they just let shit be and do their own thing