I (28F) have been engaged to my fiancé (30M) for about a year, together since 2020. Since getting engaged, things have gotten really tense between us, especially when it comes to wedding planning (March 2026).
I’ve been asking him for over a month to help finalize his side of the guest list. I’ve followed up kindly, invited him to sit down with me and do it together, and even offered to help with it. He kept brushing it off or ignoring me. I finally sent out a few digital save the dates just for my side of my immediate family…not all of them and he got really upset.
He accused me of caring more about my siblings than his siblings, and said, “It’s always what <insert name> wants,” and “it’s just your wedding.” I reminded him I’ve been asking him for help for weeks, and that I wasn’t trying to take over, I was just trying to move things forward.
That conversation escalated. He kept talking over me, and when I tried to respond, he said I was yelling at him. He then compared me to my mom yelling at my dad (???), which felt like a low blow and completely irrelevant. I called him out on his sarcasm and disrespect and said I was done with that energy. He snapped and said, “I’m done,” and then, “You wanna live a fcking single life? Go.”
We were around the corner from his sister’s house, and he pulled into the driveway, told me to get out, and walked away. I was standing outside the car crying and had to call my mom to come pick me up. He only came back when I was standing there in tears, but not to comfort me, just to stand there silently. My mom stayed home and never picked me up but he said I crossed a line with his relationship with my mom.
I feel humiliated, hurt, and honestly heartbroken. This isn’t the first time he’s shut down conversations or used sarcasm and guilt against me. I keep trying to bring him in and work through things like a team, and he either ignores me or makes me feel like I’m controlling everything.
Now I’m questioning everything. If we can’t even talk about wedding invites without this kind of meltdown and emotional abandonment, how are we supposed to build a life together?
Am I overreacting by thinking I shouldn’t marry him???
TL;DR: I asked my fiancé (30M) for help with the guest list for over a month. When I sent a few save the dates for my side, he got angry, accused me of making it “my wedding,” and said I care more about my family than his. The conversation escalated, he talked over me, said I was yelling, compared me to my mom yelling at my dad, and told me to “go live a f*cking single life.” He left me crying outside his car, and I had to call my mom to come get me which he said crossed a boundary. I’m questioning if this relationship is even healthy anymore. Should I still marry him?