This was the best subreddit to ask my burning questions. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 7 years, and we first got together when we were both 16. The rule I set years ago was that I wouldn’t propose until we had been dating 10 years. Well that time is fast approaching and I figured out the perfect day. May 19th, 2028. It’ll be 11 years since I first met her at the town fair, and by sheer coincidence both days are a Friday. Below are my questions
1) how much is too much for an engagement ring?
2) how far in advance do people usually buy rings or plan the proposal in full detail?
3) how far in advance should you inform important relatives?
Any other general advice would be very appreciated. I currently only make about $30,000 a year, and her income is roughly the same. We aren’t loaded, but I’d pay anything for her ya know?
4 comments
1) buy what you can afford. People love to argue about the difference in lab grown diamonds versus natural diamonds. Here’s an oversimplification. Both stones are comprised chemically of 100% carbon. The only difference is how they are pressurized. One is pressurized in the earths’s crust for billions of years, and one is pressurized in a lab. It sounds as though a lab grown diamond would be your best option as they cost 90% less than a natural diamond and no one can tell the difference. Both are real diamonds, but some people get confused and don’t realize the stones are chemically identical. I also love that some modern brides go with a completely alternative stone in general, oftentimes a gemstone with a color they love
2) my son-in-law took a month or two to coordinate the proposal and ring, but he knew she wanted an elongated cushion cut with a hidden halo, so it was pretty easy to coordinate with the jeweler
3) you don’t have to inform relatives before the engagement. You only need to tell them prior to the engagement if you plan on having an engagement party right after you propose.
You are asking us how you should propose to your girlfriend in three years? Are you serious?
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These questions entirely depend on what kind of girl she is.
– Does she even like flashy jewelry, or diamonds?
I mean 30 years ago the saying was “A ring should be 3 months wages” – but if you make roughly 2200 a month, and 30, 000 a year…$6000 is a LOT to spend on a ring.
I get it, it’s a symbol. But so are flashy $50 000 weddings, and most people do those for show and ego.
– You seem like a romantic, and I love that. So consider this.
What kind of proposal would SHE love? A public one? Done in front of friends, or in private? Either public or private….but, small and simple, or elaborate and extravagant?
– Ask her parents now if you’re starting to think about it. Or once you have a ring.
Bottom line answer to all of it, Do what *feels right to YOU*
> 1) how much is too much for an engagement ring?
Discuss a relistic budget with your SO, go to a shop together/do research online about what something she likes would cost. Only buy what you can easily afford.
> 2) how far in advance do people usually buy rings or plan the proposal in full detail?
Depends on the couple. Many propose with a placeholder ring and go shopping with their SO after. Talk with your SO and ask what she prefers.
> 3) how far in advance should you inform important relatives?
Does your SO want them informed beforehand?
> Any other general advice would be very appreciated.
Talk to your SO about expectations. The proposal and ring can still be a surprise.