What’s something you stopped doing for men that made your life better?
July 14, 2025
What’s something you stopped doing for men that made your life better?
37 comments
What they say and what they expect
Shaving. No more itchy skin and I have so much free time in the shower! The psoriasis on my leg completely went away, too.
Making up excuses for their behavior.
Centering my entire existence around appeasing them
anything they tell me to do, and anything they want. That includes anything I did to my physical appearance that was solely for the male gaze, and not for myself.
Chase them.
I stopped letting a man groom me. They always say it’s for our own benefit, but why does those changed not make you happy and comfortable? It’s because it’s not you anymore. Men find you charming the way you are initially. And once given a chance, once they know they’re in, they spread like cancer and start grooming each and every aspect of you. I used to agree with whatever my ex said just so he didn’t leave me, and he made me believe this is how relationships are, meeting mid way. Once I realized it was all bullshit, I said goodbye to that kind of man and never gave space to such people. Now, my current boyfriend and I are doing so well. I don’t have to tip toe around worrying about me disappointing him. I am free and well loved, both by myself and by him.
P.S: Not all men, but still men. Especially when there’s an age difference.
Splitting finances 50/50 but splitting 95/5 on household duties. Never again. I have so much more free time since my husband moved out, despite 2 dogs and 2 (adult) kids at home.
Also, despite earning the same after accounting for how much the kids cost me to keep and larger expenses, I have savings, yet he’s scraping by. Turned out I was subsiding him too.
Moving out of the way for them. It turns out they can pay attention after all.
Caring what they think about just about anything ever.
Stopped taking the meds for the pain, It took a long time to realise I wasn’t just taking it for the pain anymore. Drug addiction can sometimes be a silent killer.
Financially supporting them. Men are more expensive than kids. Not fun.
Chasing his attention. If he wanted me, I wouldn’t have to beg for it.
I have stopped thinking for my husband. His endless questions directed towards me were driving me crazy. Everything from where things are in the house to how late stores were nonstop & it’s been going on for a long time. My response now is wow, that’s a lot of questions, if only I had a device to look stuff up, I’m going to let you figure that one out.
Dressing modestly “to protect their fragility.”
They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do anyway. I’ve started dressing for my own comfort instead.
Making their happiness a complete priority over my own.
Emotional labor
Pursuing them romantically.
Stopped staying up refreshing my phone at 2AM for his texts, and my anxiety finally took a vacation
why are we so primed to chase ghost messages?
financially supporting them. i’m the breadwinner in my current relationship and i refuse to spend my hard earned money on them when they should be supporting themselves.
Dismiss my feelings to save theirs.
Anyone else here, never do anything for men? Maybe bc of my upbringing (poverty, abuse, neglect) but if a man has ever entered my life, it’s only to improve it. Otherwise, I don’t entertain their presence, in any capacity.
Labour by Paris Paloma song lyrics says it perfectly
I find a lot of men these days just go on talking about themselves. They somehow find a way to always divert the conversation back to them. Its the worst. It is incredibly difficult to find someone to have a good back and forth conversation with where they genuinely are asking you questions and trying to get to know you. Its impossible to find that.
Not only that but i’ve been on so many first dates where I walk away with knowing their entire life story, they’ve talked my ear off for hours, but meanwhile they don’t know a thing about me. Then they think it was the greatest date they’ve had in a while, but meanwhile it was shit lol
Anytime there’s a conversation and they say “I did this today, I did that, I think this, I, I, I, me, me, me” with zero questions about me, literally a wall of text about themselves, and they don’t try to have a back and forth conversation… I’m tired of it. I’m tired of trying to carry the conversation with nothing to work with and their low effort to get to know me.
Cooking. I just stopped, now I pick something up for myself on the way home. He can fend for himself
Erasing myself: my value, my equality, my self-control, my health, my peace. I am done with masking and dumbing down.
Accepting crumbs that I had to beg for in the first place, and then trying to survive on them.
I would change my plans and tend to whatever he wanted to do! 😖
About seven years ago I made a decision to try to understand other viewpoints than the ones I grew up with as a white cis woman. So I stopped consuming anything made by white men; books, movies, art and music. If the lead character was a white man, or if the author/writer/artist was a white man, I wouldn’t consume it. After a year or two I extended this to include social media.
This decision has changed my life for the better. My world has opened up in so many ways! The world looks different to me now. The most noticeable result is that I realized that black women have been producing the most amazing music and art and fashion! Also, I’ve been consuming a lot of Native American content and I love it. They’ve been working so hard to keep their culture, and save the environment, and fight the government. It’s incredible.
Now when I am forced to watch White Male American Culture content, I’m pretty blown away by how horrible many of the messages are. I’ve been sensitized by being away from it.
Accepting their bad behavior
Dating them.
Be selfish.
Gaslight.
Breadcrumb.
Future fake.
50/50(it’s never 50/50 and they ditch you anyways if you get sick/if they find a new supply)
Let them treat me in a way they wouldn’t want to be treated.
Feeding there ego.
Being their personal secretary. I should not be responsible for making appointments for my husband. Luckily he never expected it and actually asked one day why I felt the need to. Since I’d seen my mother do that for my father, I never knew it was an option to just… not do it.
[removed]
Dating them
Everything. I dress for me if others don’t like it it’s not my problem. I don’t make myself little so their ego won’t get bruised. I just stopped caring about what others think. If I sound rude because I’m standing up for myself so be it
37 comments
What they say and what they expect
Shaving. No more itchy skin and I have so much free time in the shower! The psoriasis on my leg completely went away, too.
Making up excuses for their behavior.
Centering my entire existence around appeasing them
anything they tell me to do, and anything they want. That includes anything I did to my physical appearance that was solely for the male gaze, and not for myself.
Chase them.
I stopped letting a man groom me. They always say it’s for our own benefit, but why does those changed not make you happy and comfortable? It’s because it’s not you anymore. Men find you charming the way you are initially. And once given a chance, once they know they’re in, they spread like cancer and start grooming each and every aspect of you. I used to agree with whatever my ex said just so he didn’t leave me, and he made me believe this is how relationships are, meeting mid way. Once I realized it was all bullshit, I said goodbye to that kind of man and never gave space to such people. Now, my current boyfriend and I are doing so well. I don’t have to tip toe around worrying about me disappointing him. I am free and well loved, both by myself and by him.
P.S: Not all men, but still men. Especially when there’s an age difference.
Splitting finances 50/50 but splitting 95/5 on household duties. Never again. I have so much more free time since my husband moved out, despite 2 dogs and 2 (adult) kids at home.
Also, despite earning the same after accounting for how much the kids cost me to keep and larger expenses, I have savings, yet he’s scraping by. Turned out I was subsiding him too.
Moving out of the way for them. It turns out they can pay attention after all.
Caring what they think about just about anything ever.
Stopped taking the meds for the pain, It took a long time to realise I wasn’t just taking it for the pain anymore. Drug addiction can sometimes be a silent killer.
Financially supporting them. Men are more expensive than kids. Not fun.
Chasing his attention. If he wanted me, I wouldn’t have to beg for it.
I have stopped thinking for my husband. His endless questions directed towards me were driving me crazy. Everything from where things are in the house to how late stores were nonstop & it’s been going on for a long time. My response now is wow, that’s a lot of questions, if only I had a device to look stuff up, I’m going to let you figure that one out.
Dressing modestly “to protect their fragility.”
They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do anyway. I’ve started dressing for my own comfort instead.
Making their happiness a complete priority over my own.
Emotional labor
Pursuing them romantically.
Stopped staying up refreshing my phone at 2AM for his texts, and my anxiety finally took a vacation
why are we so primed to chase ghost messages?
financially supporting them. i’m the breadwinner in my current relationship and i refuse to spend my hard earned money on them when they should be supporting themselves.
Dismiss my feelings to save theirs.
Anyone else here, never do anything for men? Maybe bc of my upbringing (poverty, abuse, neglect) but if a man has ever entered my life, it’s only to improve it. Otherwise, I don’t entertain their presence, in any capacity.
Labour by Paris Paloma song lyrics says it perfectly
I find a lot of men these days just go on talking about themselves. They somehow find a way to always divert the conversation back to them. Its the worst. It is incredibly difficult to find someone to have a good back and forth conversation with where they genuinely are asking you questions and trying to get to know you. Its impossible to find that.
Not only that but i’ve been on so many first dates where I walk away with knowing their entire life story, they’ve talked my ear off for hours, but meanwhile they don’t know a thing about me. Then they think it was the greatest date they’ve had in a while, but meanwhile it was shit lol
Anytime there’s a conversation and they say “I did this today, I did that, I think this, I, I, I, me, me, me” with zero questions about me, literally a wall of text about themselves, and they don’t try to have a back and forth conversation… I’m tired of it. I’m tired of trying to carry the conversation with nothing to work with and their low effort to get to know me.
These days, I just don’t respond back anymore lol
Hermeneutic labor.
See: [https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/626426004DF2A4908D793B87C3148593/S0887536723000119a.pdf/hermeneutic-labor-the-gendered-burden-of-interpretation-in-intimate-relationships-between-women-and-men.pdf](https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/626426004DF2A4908D793B87C3148593/S0887536723000119a.pdf/hermeneutic-labor-the-gendered-burden-of-interpretation-in-intimate-relationships-between-women-and-men.pdf)
Cooking. I just stopped, now I pick something up for myself on the way home. He can fend for himself
Erasing myself: my value, my equality, my self-control, my health, my peace. I am done with masking and dumbing down.
Accepting crumbs that I had to beg for in the first place, and then trying to survive on them.
I would change my plans and tend to whatever he wanted to do! 😖
About seven years ago I made a decision to try to understand other viewpoints than the ones I grew up with as a white cis woman. So I stopped consuming anything made by white men; books, movies, art and music. If the lead character was a white man, or if the author/writer/artist was a white man, I wouldn’t consume it. After a year or two I extended this to include social media.
This decision has changed my life for the better. My world has opened up in so many ways! The world looks different to me now. The most noticeable result is that I realized that black women have been producing the most amazing music and art and fashion! Also, I’ve been consuming a lot of Native American content and I love it. They’ve been working so hard to keep their culture, and save the environment, and fight the government. It’s incredible.
Now when I am forced to watch White Male American Culture content, I’m pretty blown away by how horrible many of the messages are. I’ve been sensitized by being away from it.
Accepting their bad behavior
Dating them.
Be selfish.
Gaslight.
Breadcrumb.
Future fake.
50/50(it’s never 50/50 and they ditch you anyways if you get sick/if they find a new supply)
Let them treat me in a way they wouldn’t want to be treated.
Feeding there ego.
Being their personal secretary. I should not be responsible for making appointments for my husband. Luckily he never expected it and actually asked one day why I felt the need to. Since I’d seen my mother do that for my father, I never knew it was an option to just… not do it.
[removed]
Dating them
Everything. I dress for me if others don’t like it it’s not my problem. I don’t make myself little so their ego won’t get bruised. I just stopped caring about what others think. If I sound rude because I’m standing up for myself so be it