Having a child shifts the energy of your loved ones. I won’t say I regret having a child, but I sureeee wish people would remember that I am an individual too .. and that when I do finally want to do something for myself, that I don’t need to be reminded about my child because my life revolves around my baby already and I feel guilty when I try to take a step back. So bringing up my baby just makes me wish I hadn’t taken that time to myself. Bonus points if they don’t constantly tell me to take a break because I need it 😂
I will say I wouldn’t use the term regret but my main reason for thinking it wasn’t the best idea to have kids.
1. First child I was 17, 2nd I was 21-I didn’t know what I was doing. Had no clue and feel immense guilt. I tried my best but I didn’t do all the things I know I should have. I feel like I screwed them up.
2. 3rd child I was 34- while I am a better mother, now that I’m fully grown I see how much pain the world can cause. It’s horrible here and now my kids have to endure hatred, mean people, constant chaos, and unstable economy, so on and so on. I think it’s extremely selfish to bring children in this world. But alas here they are. I love them and for that reason I wish they didn’t have to endure such a horrible place/people.
When I stepped on a LEGO at 3 am and saw my life flash before my eyes
the father
I’m a super pacifist and I’m empathetic to the point that it’s a detriment.
With the backstory out of the way: when my kids treat each other badly. Which is like, a lot.
I’d say there have been waves of regret that come and go, thankfully.
Wave #1: second child developed chronic illness that took over our lives for almost 4 years. Guilt at not being there as I would have wanted for first child, anxiety, so many sleepless nights all added up to waves of regret.
Wave #2: first child becoming a teenager… IYKYK, cannot put into words the feelings this will give you.
I’m grateful these waves always dissipate, but they sure are hard to ride out.
my mom once said “it’s not rhat I regret you, I regret not knowing who I could’ve been if I waited”.
and that stuck with me more than she thinks
[removed]
The silence I never got back.
I love my son but i miss my old life… especially the life i had before i met his father. Really, its just that i regret meeting his dad
id never regret it, but the noise got me thinking wrong things, jking lol
I think for my mom, she just didn’t get the daughter she wanted.
My partner. I don’t regret my child, love being a mum. But would also love to see the person I could be without a child
Nothing.
No Ragrets!
I don’t regret but like when you have one very sick child and you have to choose situations, occasions over the other child. Just wish you could cut yourself evenly to be fair to them all. But sometimes something has got to give
I don’t regret having my daughter at all. I regret not setting myself up better in life to prepare for her and give her a better, more stable environment. However, that being said, any one variable being different could’ve changed who she is and how she was made and I wouldn’t change a thing about her, so in some ways it’s worth it. I just have a lot of regrets when it comes to things I wish I could’ve given her.
Being unable to make him happy. Being unable to make him see his worth. Pouring yourself into your child to help them learn and grow, therapists, psychiatrists, counselors. Trying to love and encourage them and them just refusing to see or feel anything positive. I love my child so much, but watching him struggle with mental illness while trying g so hard and never seeing it improve is heartbreaking. Him hysterical asking me why I brought him into this world has made me regret it some. I love him so much. I’m not giving up on him. Some days are harder than others
My mom apparently doesn’t regret having me at all but I think if she could go back and pick a life for me where her and my dad didn’t get divorced along with other stuff I had to deal with growing up I think she would’ve changed that. So I think she regrets a few choices but not me really
A very good friend summed it up extremely well. She said “The birth of the child is the death of the woman. The woman will henceforth and forever be known only as ‘Mom’.”
This friend loves her children, but as soon as she became a mother, everything about her pre-baby life (career, accomplishments, hobbies, interests, talents, past, etc.) no longer seemed to matter as who she had been felt completely erased and was replaced with being a mother and everything that entailed. Even though she has a great partner, society and her own maternal instincts dictated that she be the one to sacrifice for her children, which she has done because she loves her children and she actively made the choice to become a parent. But she still greatly grieves over the fact that she loved the person she was before becoming a mother, and that person will never come back.
I regret the current state of the world I have brought him into and that he may not have the opportunities I had due to the state of the world.
I never wanted any and then had an oops at 20. I felt completely alone, totally unprepared and that no one could understand. It was hard for both of us. I did the best I could and he’s on his own since 20 living his life.
[removed]
Not feeling like a good enough mom; seeing the current state of the world in terms of politics and climate change.
Family court and a vindictive ex who has made the custody battle about her feelings and never caring for our daughter.
My mom says she doesn’t regret having us (she has 7 kids) but said nothing prepared her for the pain of us moving away. She had said that to me when I moved states for the first time
I want to sleeeeeeeep!! Other than that, Im pretty content with my baby.
27 comments
Having a child shifts the energy of your loved ones. I won’t say I regret having a child, but I sureeee wish people would remember that I am an individual too .. and that when I do finally want to do something for myself, that I don’t need to be reminded about my child because my life revolves around my baby already and I feel guilty when I try to take a step back. So bringing up my baby just makes me wish I hadn’t taken that time to myself. Bonus points if they don’t constantly tell me to take a break because I need it 😂
I will say I wouldn’t use the term regret but my main reason for thinking it wasn’t the best idea to have kids.
1. First child I was 17, 2nd I was 21-I didn’t know what I was doing. Had no clue and feel immense guilt. I tried my best but I didn’t do all the things I know I should have. I feel like I screwed them up.
2. 3rd child I was 34- while I am a better mother, now that I’m fully grown I see how much pain the world can cause. It’s horrible here and now my kids have to endure hatred, mean people, constant chaos, and unstable economy, so on and so on. I think it’s extremely selfish to bring children in this world. But alas here they are. I love them and for that reason I wish they didn’t have to endure such a horrible place/people.
When I stepped on a LEGO at 3 am and saw my life flash before my eyes
the father
I’m a super pacifist and I’m empathetic to the point that it’s a detriment.
With the backstory out of the way: when my kids treat each other badly. Which is like, a lot.
I’d say there have been waves of regret that come and go, thankfully.
Wave #1: second child developed chronic illness that took over our lives for almost 4 years. Guilt at not being there as I would have wanted for first child, anxiety, so many sleepless nights all added up to waves of regret.
Wave #2: first child becoming a teenager… IYKYK, cannot put into words the feelings this will give you.
I’m grateful these waves always dissipate, but they sure are hard to ride out.
my mom once said “it’s not rhat I regret you, I regret not knowing who I could’ve been if I waited”.
and that stuck with me more than she thinks
[removed]
The silence I never got back.
I love my son but i miss my old life… especially the life i had before i met his father. Really, its just that i regret meeting his dad
id never regret it, but the noise got me thinking wrong things, jking lol
I think for my mom, she just didn’t get the daughter she wanted.
My partner. I don’t regret my child, love being a mum. But would also love to see the person I could be without a child
Nothing.
No Ragrets!
I don’t regret but like when you have one very sick child and you have to choose situations, occasions over the other child. Just wish you could cut yourself evenly to be fair to them all. But sometimes something has got to give
I don’t regret having my daughter at all. I regret not setting myself up better in life to prepare for her and give her a better, more stable environment. However, that being said, any one variable being different could’ve changed who she is and how she was made and I wouldn’t change a thing about her, so in some ways it’s worth it. I just have a lot of regrets when it comes to things I wish I could’ve given her.
Being unable to make him happy. Being unable to make him see his worth. Pouring yourself into your child to help them learn and grow, therapists, psychiatrists, counselors. Trying to love and encourage them and them just refusing to see or feel anything positive. I love my child so much, but watching him struggle with mental illness while trying g so hard and never seeing it improve is heartbreaking. Him hysterical asking me why I brought him into this world has made me regret it some. I love him so much. I’m not giving up on him. Some days are harder than others
My mom apparently doesn’t regret having me at all but I think if she could go back and pick a life for me where her and my dad didn’t get divorced along with other stuff I had to deal with growing up I think she would’ve changed that. So I think she regrets a few choices but not me really
A very good friend summed it up extremely well. She said “The birth of the child is the death of the woman. The woman will henceforth and forever be known only as ‘Mom’.”
This friend loves her children, but as soon as she became a mother, everything about her pre-baby life (career, accomplishments, hobbies, interests, talents, past, etc.) no longer seemed to matter as who she had been felt completely erased and was replaced with being a mother and everything that entailed. Even though she has a great partner, society and her own maternal instincts dictated that she be the one to sacrifice for her children, which she has done because she loves her children and she actively made the choice to become a parent. But she still greatly grieves over the fact that she loved the person she was before becoming a mother, and that person will never come back.
I regret the current state of the world I have brought him into and that he may not have the opportunities I had due to the state of the world.
I never wanted any and then had an oops at 20. I felt completely alone, totally unprepared and that no one could understand. It was hard for both of us. I did the best I could and he’s on his own since 20 living his life.
[removed]
Not feeling like a good enough mom; seeing the current state of the world in terms of politics and climate change.
Family court and a vindictive ex who has made the custody battle about her feelings and never caring for our daughter.
My mom says she doesn’t regret having us (she has 7 kids) but said nothing prepared her for the pain of us moving away. She had said that to me when I moved states for the first time
I want to sleeeeeeeep!! Other than that, Im pretty content with my baby.