Let's say you're walking through the streets of a big European city.
A stranger walks up to you and, instead of saying directly what they want, they just go "hi" or "hi, how are you". And when you respond they will say or ask some other generic shit like "it's a nice day, huh" or "are you here on holiday? where are you from?" and they still don't reveal why they approached you.
At this I'm point I'm getting irritated AF. I'm thinking they probably want to sell something to me, or are trying to scam me. Or they are trying to convince me that I should believe in their god. Or they might be trying to hit on me (they're not somebody I'm interested in). In any case, it's almost never anything good in my experience.
How do you deal with those people? Do you simply ignore them if they don't say what they want in the first sentence? Do you ask them what they want? Do you engage in small talk with them and see where it goes?
17 comments
Depends on the person of course, but 99% sure they are trying to sell something to me or need me for something and it’s not a genuine show of interest. We don’t really do small talk like that.
– “Not interested”
– “No thank you”
Or ignore them completely.
Really depends. Do they look like they are from the US or some other culture that does this? Probably entertain it briefly and see what’s up.
Do they look dodgy? Keep walking while I say no thank you non specifically.
Depends, can spot a scammer for lack of a better word, but I’ve had random conversations with people on trains, at smoking areas etc., some of which are pretty memorable years on. Wish people would talk more instead of sticking their heads in their phones 24/7 actually.
The Danish wat it’s clearly a drunk or an insane person
I chat to them. Since I don’t go to the human septic tank that is London, people who start random conversations with me are usually nice and just bored. I chat to quite a few people while waiting for the bus.
Nobody just comes up and says hi though, that simply doesn’t happen. They’ll ask when the next bus is or something like that, and the conversation flows naturally from there. A few people over-share, like an old motorcyclist who gave me the full grisly details of his 14 operations to put his bones back together after the natural result of motorcycle riding. Most people keep the smalltalk small though.
I’d assume they’ve got some sort of an angle that I’m most likely not interested in, so after a baffled first look I’d probably just not engage. Very weird to approach like that without saying what they’re on about.
If they’re not in need of any help, directions or such, I would say “I have to go now, good day.” and walk off.
If I identify what they want from me then I just ignore them without saying a word or even looking at them. I learned to do this in the US where the streets are more dangerous, but here in the Nordic it just feels natural as everybody does it.
If they are nice and announce intent clearly then I keep going and respond with “no, thanks”.
If they approach me in English I pretend I don’t speak it. And if it’s German or something I put on my thickest American accent and say „omg I’m so sorry I don’t speak European” and usually I’m left alone.
I keep on walking saying “no, thanks”. Sometimes they manage to engage me but at their second sentence I tell them “sorry, I’m in a hurry” as I leave.
Fortunately I’m from the part of the world where strangers don’t approach people. It’s great.
Depends on the context.
Does the person look like a tourist or traveller in search of a specific location or information, I’ll help them out if that’s what they want.
If the person looks like a drug addict/punk/scammer/beggar, I’ll tell them I don’t carry cash (which is true) and walk on.
It’s never happened to me that a random stranger walked up to me and just wanted to start a conversation in the middle of the street.
Random conversations that develop out of some sort of context related questions while waiting at the bus stop or train station, fair enough. Happens all the time.
They don’t because Finland lol, but every now and then you get a chatty elderly person in public places like supermarket queues or public transport, in which case i’ll make a bit of small talk to be polite.
I usually have headphones on, so I pretend not to hear them. However, for some reason when I’m in an obvious hurry, that’s when people decide to approach me. Like years ago I was literally running to class. In my uni there’s no campus, the classes are in buildings scattered around the city. So I’m running, and this guy with a clipboard just jumps in front of me. I think I yelled something at him. A similar thing happened the other day, when I was running with a pram as we were going to an appointment, and a woman decides to try to stop me. It’s just so weird.
Ignore them and quicken my pace. I always assume they’re scamming me or part of a gang about to mug me.
I love like random conversations, but I’m always too suspicious most of the time.. depending on situation. If it’s like sitting in a bus stop then yeah it’s more fine. But just random of the street my scammer alert bells will go off