How did you stop your negative self talk? Which methods worked?
June 14, 2025
How did you stop your negative self talk? Which methods worked?
33 comments
I figure it’s realistic rather than negative, and I’m being honest about myself. So, I reframe it.
Can you give some examples of what sort of negative self talk? That might help people (myself included) give you more solid advice.
Write down, journal good positive notes.
I caught what I was doing to myself one day. I thought, hang on, I would NEVER talk to my best friend or anyone else like this, so why am I doing it to myself?!?! Stopped instantly.
I think about if I would let a man say it to my neice. And if the answer is, “I will bury that SOB in concrete,” then I don’t say it to myself anymore š
i taped a picture of my 3-year-old self to my mirror. whenever i start being really hard on myself (whether it’s about how i look or just something i did or said), i look at the picture from when i was really young and instantly feel bad for being so harsh. i already got enough shit from my own mom growing up. the least i can do is be kind towards myself. it probably sounds kinda weird, but my therapist taught me that to heal, i have to show compassion to my inner child. itās actually helped more than i expected.
I actually had a dream where I was facing another me and I was saying horrible things. The other me looked so hurt and started crying. I cried when I woke up. Literally wrote an apology letter to myself and shared it with my therapist. When I catch myself saying something bad, I apologize to myself and analyze why I said it.
I literally say STOP to myself when a negative thought keeps happening and say that isnāt true, normally say this out loud. Then I move my body by walking or doing the dishes or something to focus on something else.
I start singing out loud āthis is just a story Iām telling myself!ā And will sing out whatever it is that I am shit talking myself about
Half the time it becomes a very silly way to get myself out of a funk but sometimes it helps me understand what parts of myself might need a little more love and attention š
Mindfulness. It makes me more aware of the thoughts I have, and if I notice my negative self talk early, I’m able to divert my attention elsewhere. In theory…. In practice, I still have some work to do on this diversion strategy š
In any case, mindfulness helps me: I need to be aware of the stories I’m telling myself before I can respond to them in a healthy way.
Proactive positive self-talk involvesĀ actively choosing to replace negative or unhelpful thoughts with positive and encouraging ones.Ā It’s about being your own cheerleader and fostering a mindset of optimism, resilience, and self-compassion.Ā By practicing proactive positive self-talk, you can improve your overall well-being, enhance your performance, and build a more positive outlook on life.Ā
My first step was giving myself permission to be positive toward myself. Then when I’d start being hard on myself I’d pretend I was talking to my kid and that would stop it immediately.
I say this in the past-tense because I figured out the method in the past, but it takes work and sometimes progress is slow so this is an emotional tool I keep handy.
[removed]
Meditation
Literally talking back to myself and challenging what I was saying. āStop being so mean, stop saying that, stop being a plebā and it really helped
If I do it then the people who bulled me and my overly critical mother were right. I’m not going to let those losers win. I’ll love myself not just because I deserve it but also because I love spite.
It sounds stupid but whenever I looked at myself in a mirror, I would imagine i was in a bar bathroom and there was a drunk girl complimenting me. That really helped me more than anything else I tried and the drunk girl started seeping into other aspects I didn’t like about myself
My therapist said to ask myself if anyone else would realistically say the same things about me. I realised that they wouldn’t. It took a while, and a lot of practice, to sink in, but I tend to catch myself before it takes hold now.
I did a lot of mirror work and affirmations, bettering my self concept. Helped me love and respect myself more.
[removed]
I started talking to myself like Iād talk to a friend ā gently, not critically. Journaling helped, and so did catching the thought and asking, āWould I say this to someone I love?ā Little by little, it got quieter.
I made myself a mantra and repeated it a few times a day for at least 15 minutes. I told myself that I was beautiful, fantastic, terrific, wonderful, loved, and any other nice words that you wanted to tell yourself.
I go to tell myself that I’m stupid with something in my brain stopping me and reminding me that I’m great.
Good question. How do I stop it? Help.
No I don’t talk negatively about myself if it’s not something I can work on and for me that talk drives me to do better. I don’t use it to bring myself down or hold myself back. I use it for the better.
When i talk shit to myself, i have my inner voice sound like Wander from Wander Over Yonder to combate my insults. It works. š¤·āāļø
I do this thing where I picture in my head multiple versions of myself (like the Alanis Morissette video Ironic) and when different parts of me start acting up, like self hate, I kind of imagine myself addressing them directly. Like hey buddy whats goin on, why are you upset? And since it feels like a semi dumb way to go about it it adds levity to the emotions for me and I think about why these feelings are coming up and basically talk it out in my head until it goes away. It sounds dumb, but it works for me
Bullied myself out of it lol. Every time I would think hateful things about myself I would think “Thats awfully self absorbed”, kind shocked my system into questioning my immediate assumptions. Now I’m more gentle in my approach, I’ll mentally say “shhh, you are okay” on repeat to myself until my heart and breathing slow and I can think critically instead of reactively
I got on mood stabilizers.
[removed]
Ugh, I havenāt.
[removed]
This is the method that Lou Tice recommended from his performance coaching. Put a rubber band on your wrist. Whenever you think a negative thought, snap the inside of it of your wrist and say to yourself āthatās not like meā. In about three weeks, youāll start seeing some incredible change.
Remember who you are and your goals. Often times when you think about how far you’ve come to achieve something it really helps you take a step back and appreciate your hard work
Immediate correction if I catch myself. Iāve been listening to a lot of Beyonce renaissance. Cozy is my affirmation song
33 comments
I figure it’s realistic rather than negative, and I’m being honest about myself. So, I reframe it.
Can you give some examples of what sort of negative self talk? That might help people (myself included) give you more solid advice.
Write down, journal good positive notes.
I caught what I was doing to myself one day. I thought, hang on, I would NEVER talk to my best friend or anyone else like this, so why am I doing it to myself?!?! Stopped instantly.
I think about if I would let a man say it to my neice. And if the answer is, “I will bury that SOB in concrete,” then I don’t say it to myself anymore š
i taped a picture of my 3-year-old self to my mirror. whenever i start being really hard on myself (whether it’s about how i look or just something i did or said), i look at the picture from when i was really young and instantly feel bad for being so harsh. i already got enough shit from my own mom growing up. the least i can do is be kind towards myself. it probably sounds kinda weird, but my therapist taught me that to heal, i have to show compassion to my inner child. itās actually helped more than i expected.
I actually had a dream where I was facing another me and I was saying horrible things. The other me looked so hurt and started crying. I cried when I woke up. Literally wrote an apology letter to myself and shared it with my therapist. When I catch myself saying something bad, I apologize to myself and analyze why I said it.
I literally say STOP to myself when a negative thought keeps happening and say that isnāt true, normally say this out loud. Then I move my body by walking or doing the dishes or something to focus on something else.
I start singing out loud āthis is just a story Iām telling myself!ā And will sing out whatever it is that I am shit talking myself about
Half the time it becomes a very silly way to get myself out of a funk but sometimes it helps me understand what parts of myself might need a little more love and attention š
Mindfulness. It makes me more aware of the thoughts I have, and if I notice my negative self talk early, I’m able to divert my attention elsewhere. In theory…. In practice, I still have some work to do on this diversion strategy š
In any case, mindfulness helps me: I need to be aware of the stories I’m telling myself before I can respond to them in a healthy way.
Proactive positive self-talk involvesĀ actively choosing to replace negative or unhelpful thoughts with positive and encouraging ones.Ā It’s about being your own cheerleader and fostering a mindset of optimism, resilience, and self-compassion.Ā By practicing proactive positive self-talk, you can improve your overall well-being, enhance your performance, and build a more positive outlook on life.Ā
My first step was giving myself permission to be positive toward myself. Then when I’d start being hard on myself I’d pretend I was talking to my kid and that would stop it immediately.
I say this in the past-tense because I figured out the method in the past, but it takes work and sometimes progress is slow so this is an emotional tool I keep handy.
[removed]
Meditation
Literally talking back to myself and challenging what I was saying. āStop being so mean, stop saying that, stop being a plebā and it really helped
If I do it then the people who bulled me and my overly critical mother were right. I’m not going to let those losers win. I’ll love myself not just because I deserve it but also because I love spite.
It sounds stupid but whenever I looked at myself in a mirror, I would imagine i was in a bar bathroom and there was a drunk girl complimenting me. That really helped me more than anything else I tried and the drunk girl started seeping into other aspects I didn’t like about myself
My therapist said to ask myself if anyone else would realistically say the same things about me. I realised that they wouldn’t. It took a while, and a lot of practice, to sink in, but I tend to catch myself before it takes hold now.
I did a lot of mirror work and affirmations, bettering my self concept. Helped me love and respect myself more.
[removed]
I started talking to myself like Iād talk to a friend ā gently, not critically. Journaling helped, and so did catching the thought and asking, āWould I say this to someone I love?ā Little by little, it got quieter.
I made myself a mantra and repeated it a few times a day for at least 15 minutes. I told myself that I was beautiful, fantastic, terrific, wonderful, loved, and any other nice words that you wanted to tell yourself.
I go to tell myself that I’m stupid with something in my brain stopping me and reminding me that I’m great.
Good question. How do I stop it? Help.
No I don’t talk negatively about myself if it’s not something I can work on and for me that talk drives me to do better. I don’t use it to bring myself down or hold myself back. I use it for the better.
When i talk shit to myself, i have my inner voice sound like Wander from Wander Over Yonder to combate my insults. It works. š¤·āāļø
I do this thing where I picture in my head multiple versions of myself (like the Alanis Morissette video Ironic) and when different parts of me start acting up, like self hate, I kind of imagine myself addressing them directly. Like hey buddy whats goin on, why are you upset? And since it feels like a semi dumb way to go about it it adds levity to the emotions for me and I think about why these feelings are coming up and basically talk it out in my head until it goes away. It sounds dumb, but it works for me
Bullied myself out of it lol. Every time I would think hateful things about myself I would think “Thats awfully self absorbed”, kind shocked my system into questioning my immediate assumptions. Now I’m more gentle in my approach, I’ll mentally say “shhh, you are okay” on repeat to myself until my heart and breathing slow and I can think critically instead of reactively
I got on mood stabilizers.
[removed]
Ugh, I havenāt.
[removed]
This is the method that Lou Tice recommended from his performance coaching. Put a rubber band on your wrist. Whenever you think a negative thought, snap the inside of it of your wrist and say to yourself āthatās not like meā. In about three weeks, youāll start seeing some incredible change.
Remember who you are and your goals. Often times when you think about how far you’ve come to achieve something it really helps you take a step back and appreciate your hard work
Immediate correction if I catch myself. Iāve been listening to a lot of Beyonce renaissance. Cozy is my affirmation song