Women who left longterm relationships due to realizing you don’t want kids do you regret it and how did you handle it? Did you find love again?
June 13, 2025
Women who left longterm relationships due to realizing you don’t want kids do you regret it and how did you handle it? Did you find love again?
13 comments
No I don’t regret it. I haven’t found anything long term since.
[deleted]
[removed]
I’ve ALWAYS known I didn’t want kids, and have always been vocal about it. Men just don’t listen though….they think they can change your mind or that you’ll eventually get baby fever or whatever. I’ve had a couple LTRs that I ended up leaving when the guy finally fessed up that he wanted kids and was just hoping I’d “come around to the idea.” I never regretted it because there’s literally no compromising in those kinds of situations. I did find love again and honestly never really worried that I wouldn’t. I’d rather be alone with no kids than in a relationship with kids I didn’t want in the first place.
I just regret not figuring it out and sticking to it sooner. I spent a period of years talking it out, being open about my doubts, reading “The Baby Decision” etc, and my partner was just very set on having kids. The relationship got toxic quickly and I should have seen it for what it was and left sooner. BUT I eventually got out, and will never regret that decision. It finally feels like my life has opened up again, I’m being my most authentic and in control self, and I have found an incredible partner that I know beyond a doubt loves me for me and is on the same page. It’s a true gift and I feel very lucky.
Most of the men I’ve dated have been fine with being child-free. When it comes to the ones that weren’t, there were only two:
1) a man I dated for three months who I liked a lot, but who definitively wanted bio kids (I was open to adoption). I was heartbroken at the time but realized it was better in the long run.
2) a man I dated right after for roughly 2 years who knew I ended the last relationship over the kids issue and who eventually admitted he thought he could manipulate me into changing my mind. He also tried to manipulate me out of my sterilization surgery right before it was due to happen. He was awful in many other ways and I do not regret leaving that relationship at all.
I did find love again with a man who is perfectly happy to skip out on kids and I’m now in a far healthier relationship than either of those were. Hope that answers your question!
I don’t regret it at all. Those relationships would have been horrendous had I stayed and had kids for them, like it actually gives me nightmares. I was a serial dater before I really sat down with my own feelings and truly understood my lack of desire for motherhood (my last ltr tried to convince me to have children one day and I stayed for 5 years trying to change myself for him!). Once I well and truly accepted myself I could face my fear of being alone. Through that solitude I was able to actually reflect and realized I don’t even like men at all and my ideal partner would be another woman lol. I may not have had that realization when I did if I was still busying myself with trying to want to have kids for some lame dude.
I’m still single like 4 years later but I’m not looking for love at the moment either. I think the fact I don’t want to have kids or get married takes the pressure off finding a relationship completely – I have my whole life to meet likeminded women so it isn’t an issue for me if I don’t meet someone for ages.
Nope, I don’t regret it at ALL. I would have been absolutely miserable with that particular partner and the resentment to contempt road was growing increasingly shorter by the time we mutually broke things off.
He deserved to seek the life he wanted, as I did mine. The fact that was achieved separately is just fine with me.
No regrets at all. I remarried and my husband and I are happily childfree together.
Best decision. No regrets
Not for a moment. Before we even went out, I told him I was never having kids.Three years later he starts with this legacy shit. I told him his legacy was not coming out of my vagina.
I was dumped once by a guy who decided he wanted kids with a Jewish woman (He is Jewish). Why he dated me for 2 years is a mystery, as I am not Jewish and I’ve never wanted kids. It’s all for the best now even though it was hell at the time. Yes, my life is fabulous. I think his is, too. I ran into him a while back at the grocery store.
I always knew. I don’t regret it because they all had kids with other people. Good for them. My current spouse flip-flopped about it; now that it’s medically impossible and we’re living in reality, a lot has changed but we’re still together.
I feel like a lot of people have relationships in their 20’s that get interrupted by someone’s biological clock going off and the other person not hearing anything.
13 comments
No I don’t regret it. I haven’t found anything long term since.
[deleted]
[removed]
I’ve ALWAYS known I didn’t want kids, and have always been vocal about it. Men just don’t listen though….they think they can change your mind or that you’ll eventually get baby fever or whatever. I’ve had a couple LTRs that I ended up leaving when the guy finally fessed up that he wanted kids and was just hoping I’d “come around to the idea.” I never regretted it because there’s literally no compromising in those kinds of situations. I did find love again and honestly never really worried that I wouldn’t. I’d rather be alone with no kids than in a relationship with kids I didn’t want in the first place.
I just regret not figuring it out and sticking to it sooner. I spent a period of years talking it out, being open about my doubts, reading “The Baby Decision” etc, and my partner was just very set on having kids. The relationship got toxic quickly and I should have seen it for what it was and left sooner. BUT I eventually got out, and will never regret that decision. It finally feels like my life has opened up again, I’m being my most authentic and in control self, and I have found an incredible partner that I know beyond a doubt loves me for me and is on the same page. It’s a true gift and I feel very lucky.
Most of the men I’ve dated have been fine with being child-free. When it comes to the ones that weren’t, there were only two:
1) a man I dated for three months who I liked a lot, but who definitively wanted bio kids (I was open to adoption). I was heartbroken at the time but realized it was better in the long run.
2) a man I dated right after for roughly 2 years who knew I ended the last relationship over the kids issue and who eventually admitted he thought he could manipulate me into changing my mind. He also tried to manipulate me out of my sterilization surgery right before it was due to happen. He was awful in many other ways and I do not regret leaving that relationship at all.
I did find love again with a man who is perfectly happy to skip out on kids and I’m now in a far healthier relationship than either of those were. Hope that answers your question!
I don’t regret it at all. Those relationships would have been horrendous had I stayed and had kids for them, like it actually gives me nightmares. I was a serial dater before I really sat down with my own feelings and truly understood my lack of desire for motherhood (my last ltr tried to convince me to have children one day and I stayed for 5 years trying to change myself for him!). Once I well and truly accepted myself I could face my fear of being alone. Through that solitude I was able to actually reflect and realized I don’t even like men at all and my ideal partner would be another woman lol. I may not have had that realization when I did if I was still busying myself with trying to want to have kids for some lame dude.
I’m still single like 4 years later but I’m not looking for love at the moment either. I think the fact I don’t want to have kids or get married takes the pressure off finding a relationship completely – I have my whole life to meet likeminded women so it isn’t an issue for me if I don’t meet someone for ages.
Nope, I don’t regret it at ALL. I would have been absolutely miserable with that particular partner and the resentment to contempt road was growing increasingly shorter by the time we mutually broke things off.
He deserved to seek the life he wanted, as I did mine. The fact that was achieved separately is just fine with me.
No regrets at all. I remarried and my husband and I are happily childfree together.
Best decision. No regrets
Not for a moment. Before we even went out, I told him I was never having kids.Three years later he starts with this legacy shit. I told him his legacy was not coming out of my vagina.
I was dumped once by a guy who decided he wanted kids with a Jewish woman (He is Jewish). Why he dated me for 2 years is a mystery, as I am not Jewish and I’ve never wanted kids. It’s all for the best now even though it was hell at the time. Yes, my life is fabulous. I think his is, too. I ran into him a while back at the grocery store.
I always knew. I don’t regret it because they all had kids with other people. Good for them. My current spouse flip-flopped about it; now that it’s medically impossible and we’re living in reality, a lot has changed but we’re still together.
I feel like a lot of people have relationships in their 20’s that get interrupted by someone’s biological clock going off and the other person not hearing anything.