TLDR: My little sister has a crush on my husband. I don’t have a problem with it, but I’m afraid it will cause unnecessary family drama.
My older sister got married a couple weeks ago. There were a few slow dances during the wedding and during one of them, my husband went out with my little sister because she had no one to dance with. It was very cute watching them together. She was drunk and tried to kiss him, but settled for a kiss on the cheek. He blushed the hardest I’ve seen in a long time. He was sort of a stand-in “boyfriend” for her that night and I thought it was adorable. The next day we went to lunch with her and my parents. She was on the left side of him and I was on the right side. My husband told me afterwards that she was touching his thigh under the table but I didn’t notice.
Those events made me reflect on what she had done previously. I spend time with my family very frequently. Normally, my little sister would wear normal clothes when we would hang out or go to lunch. When she knew my husband would be there, she would wear very flattering or cute clothing. She has a tendency to call him “Sir” or “Mr. (Last Name).” I think she sees him as the example of what a good boyfriend/husband is since we’re married and he treats me well. She’s been dumped and not treated right and she wants what I have.
I have pretty much no jealousy issues with my husband, and I don’t really have a problem with my little sister doing things like that unless my husband is extremely uncomfortable with it. I’ve just never been physically possessive like that. What I am afraid of, is this causing family drama. I think I need to nip it in the bud before things get out of hand. I don’t want to confront her, just have a conversation without sounding offended, because I’m not.
37 comments
Adorable is when your 9 year old sister tries to kiss your husband not when your 23 yo sister does!! Yikes!!!
This is not normal, she tried to kiss him then she began to touch his thighs and now she dresses sexy in front of him !!!!! She has crossed every boundary and has no respect for you or your marriage, Talk to her and to your parents someone need to put her in her place , your husband also need to tell her off
Oof. 15 year age gap.
I think she needs to know that you know about her inappropriate behavior with your husband.
She needs to know that everything she does gets reported to you.
Nothing stops inappropriate behavior like exposure.
Simply put whether she would be successful in taking your husband is irrelevant. Her actions are being disrespectful to you and showing you she doesn’t care about you.
Info: Does your husband thing her behavior is cute too?
You need to have a problem with it because she will become more daring with her moves on your husband. Your little sister is a grown woman that would have no problem having an affair with your husband. She tried to kiss him then touched him secretly at lunch while your parents where there. I’m sure she isn’t thinking about you as a sister but more as competition. You need to also think about how uncomfortable this is making your husband. I would talk with her and your parents about her behavior
The family drama is already here and she is sexually harassing our husband. This is not about your feelings. This is about your sister harassing your husband. Are you waiting for her to escalate the situation? Next time she is going to come in naked into your house or make up that your husband had sex with her. It’s going to blow up in your face. Why are you putting your husband in this situations?
You have to sit with your parents and your sister and be honest about what’s happening.
>I have pretty much no jealousy issues with my husband, and I don’t really have a problem with my little sister doing things like that …I’ve just never been physically possessive like that.
Nobody gives a shit about your feelings! It is sexual assault! You are disrespecting your husband by allowing it to keep going.
I mean…I can see how it could look adorable and cute when a 23 year old woman dances with a 42 year old man. It’s kinda like a girl dancing with someone who could be her dad.
Tell her to stick to men her own age. It’ll be better for her in the end.
I’m 23, and would never do that and be very aware of it if I did it ! Very inappropriate, she’s not 6 years old for god sake !! I understand she’s been through heartbreak but not an excuse to seduce your husband !
You have to talk to your sister now or there will be family drama when she gets upset because he isn’t responding to her and she accuses him of sexual assault. Especially if she hits on him when she is drunk. You may think your husband can handle her, but when she rubbed his thigh while he was between the two of you and he didn’t immediately switch seats, that’s a big problem. Sure he told you later but he didn’t stop her. She is not a kid, she is a woman who is after your husband and she will make up lies to get him. This is not a young girl crush and she will cause harm to achieve her goal. Open your eyes and end this now.
Adorable is my 5 year old sister putting on her best sparkly Limited Too tee and longingly gazing at our 17 year old sister’s boyfriend.
Not adorable is a sister only 4 years younger than you sexually harassing your husband. A hand on the thigh is not cute. It’s creepy.
I see you defending your sister a lot. Thats cool and all but what about respecting your husband too? It’s your family that you are letting violate him. Even if he’s not gonna cheat he told you for a reason and you are just making excuses for your sister to act like a pos.
This whole situation is cringe. Your sister is being gross and disrespectful and you’re so blind by god knows what you don’t even call it that.
What’s the purpose of this rant if you aren’t actually going to listen to anyone?
You are saying that you don’t care unless ur husband is extremely uncomfortable. So in other words I don’t care about my husband. Ggs to ur marriage.
Think like this. If a boy did that with her brother’s wife. Would that be alright
Your adult sister is actively trying to seduce your husband, and you think it is cute. ffs
Your sis literally seduces and sexually harrasses your husband IN FRONT OF YOU and you call it adorable?
wtf
you SHOULD be offended. she’s insulting you, your husband and your marriage to your face
I’ve read through your post and also your comments. Why bother posting on this subreddit if you’re just going to dismiss what everyone is saying?
Take off your rose colored glasses. Your sister is disrespecting your marriage and you’re sitting there acting like it’s all good. Your husband won’t leave you cos you have a baby? What fantasy world are you living in? Men cheat on and / or leave women with babies all the time. Having a baby doesn’t make you immune to him leaving you.
My sister and I have the same age gap as y’all and if I tried that with my BIL (never would btw) she would slap me back to 1999 and cut me off. You need to be more angry at her. Would it be cute if a random 23 year old coworker did it? Prob not
Do you realize all it would take is your husband to want to cheat and he would have an instant mistress? She is literally right there and waiting. She tried to *kiss him*. She was *touching his thigh under the table*. She is **making herself available to him**, and that is disrespectful as fuck to your relationship. I’ve seen **too** many posts (granted it’s Reddit so it’s kinda the hub for all-things-negative) about people who had spouses have crushes on their sister-in-laws/brother-in-laws. You might find it cute, but she’s old enough to fuck your husband and seems to be gunning for it. She (I’m assuming) was *sober* at the lunch so she’s fully aware of what she is doing. It’s not some drunken-kiss (which still isn’t excusing that’s behaviour). She’s being so disrespectful, and she’s lucky she has a sister like you. I know women who would have recognized that disrespect and kicked her ass/gave her a verbal lashing already.
I agree, there needs to be a talk between you and your sister. Before that though? There *needs* to be a talk between you and your husband. Just so you both know what boundaries will be placed, and you can also get his perspective on what’s been going on with her “crush”. Then, I would sit down with her as a united-front. If the word “insecure” comes out of her mouth, just know it’s her trying to make you second guess your boundaries and *her* in inappropriate behaviour. Stay strong. Stay united. Also, encourage your husband to speak for himself. As a married man he should be comfortable to set boundaries in the presence of his wife, and to be able to tell his sister-in-law to please stop her behaviour towards him.
Uh…she’s sexually assaulting him. If this isn’t enough to cause drama in your family, then you all make too many excuses for each other and he needs to run.
Stop making excuses about not wanting drama, and call your sister out on her shit. Stand by your husband not being assaulted, even if it means causing drama.
She literally wants your husband. Its not cute when it’s your 23 year old sister who’s old enough to know better. She trying to seduce your husband even when your in the room. You need to set boundaries.
This shit isn’t cute. This isn’t some naive little girl trying to cuddle up with her big sister’s boyfriend. This is a grown woman DISRESPECTING your marriage, acting EXTREMELY inappropriately, and quite frankly sexually harassing/possibly assaulting your HUSBAND. Things are already out of hand, what is it going to take you for you to care? Does she need to bend over the dining room table during the middle of a family dinner and beg him to take her to get you to deal with this? I mean, DAMN.
And you’re just going to act like things are just fine and dandy? No, you need to deal with this or your marriage is (rightfully) over.
EDIT: You should have included in your post that this is all some sort of weird, borderline incestuous kink you have. And how you’re just fine with your sister screwing your husband. Pretty vital information, if you ask me.
OP said the idea of her husband having sex with her little sister doesn’t bother her. “Because I’m not possessive like that”. You’re weird OP. Very weird.
This is just a tangential observation and I am not victim-blaming OP, but a disproportionate number of posts on this sub seem to involve large age gaps in relationships
Yikes, you’re both creeps: imagine if the genders were reversed.
So she’s sexually harassing your husband. He has informed you. He is clearly uncomfortable. What does *he* want to do about it.
Btw. Stop being so laissez-faire about this.
This has got to be rage bait, you act extremely dense no matter what several people are telling you. Lol he won’t leave you because y’all have a baby? Anyway, this isn’t normal, she’s an adult and by 23 we know not to rub someone else’s husbands thighs and give him kisses. Family drama is gonna be when he decides he wants the younger model.
Since OP is okay with her husband and sister banging so long as she doesn’t see and their parents don’t know, I’ll be waiting for the “Huband got my sister pregnant” post in the future.
Faaaaaake
The fuck did I just read?
Honestly it’s unbelievable how this is all so gender biased. What if you were male and your husband was a female? Would you still think it is adorable that your brother touches your wife without consent? It is called harrasment. Look it up.
Explain to me what is cute about this situation – I guess I am unclear? I would not find this amusing. I would not accept this from someone who supposed to love me. I respect boundaries and my marriage too much to allow this to continue with full knowledge that it’s happening.
I had to go back to see if your sister was 14? Because then I would say, she has a “silly” crush. Your sister is a whole woman.
Please choose your words wisely when you think about what is really happening. You don’t want to admit what it is bc then you will have to accept what your blood is doing to you and that is really hard to swallow.
You rather say it’s funny than say it’s devastating. Acknowledge the hurt you must be feeling right now. Start today and end this
I seriously think you need therapy. Who in their right mind wouldn’t mind if their husband were to literally fuck their younger sibling. I just- what????
You sister is literally sexually harassing your husband but you don’t care. You’re lucky he hasn’t returned her advances.
You need to tell you sister this is unacceptable behavior. Your husband is likely uncomfortable but hasn’t said anything because you are already downplaying her actions. You need to stick up for your husband and your marriage before you end up divorced and alone because you thought your sister was innocent.
Wtf OP? With the way you’re acting you might as well invite your sister into your marriage and form an incestuous triad relationship. That’s your man, tell her to fuck off and actually maintain some boundaries.
Edit: **you basically believe that you’ve baby trapped your husband in this relationship and that having a baby means he can’t leave**
Talk about unhealthy as fuck.
Disclaimer for the other commenters: OP says in a reply to a comment that because they have a child, her husband won’t leave her.
Your sister tried to kiss your husband on the dance floor in front of everyone? And you thought that was endearing???