I've noticed over the years that I've been a floater friend to most people, and it lowkey hurts not feeling included or that someone genuinely cares about me as a person. Isolation and loneliness hurts and I know it's biology.
I've noticed I'm very adaptable and my "friends" are neurodivergent like me (ADHD), but I feel out of place now and I feel like I've outgrow certain circles, which is ok.
I feel like a lost my confidence to talk to new people for the last few years due to being in an a****ve relationship and being isolated due to health issues that I'm now recovering from since 2024. I'm thankfully in not in those situations anymore, but I no longer have the confidence to talk to new people. I used to be a social butterfly believe it or not!!
I am a great listener, get along with others, blend in very well without being a people pleaser, I'm invested in people's lives and also invite them out as well. I always show up consistently.
I've noticed that most people are bad at texting back when making plans or don't invite me at all. I'm decent at reading social queues and I know how to read the room.
I know that I'm tolerated by many, but no one's top pick. I still have self-respect to say no to last-minute invites and to not tolerate being treated poorly by someone that's my "friend" (we've all had toxic friendships and it's normal to go through that, but I still choose to not let those situations make me feel jaded or dwell on it lol).
Please know what I'm doing wrong or how I can improve my social skills as an ND person!