This post will read a little more like a rant than a request for advice, but I am happy to listen to any advice because I don't have anyone to talk to about this (other than maybe my sneaker discord, but I complain to them way too much these days).
My wife (40F) and I (41M) have been together for almost 15 years and have a 2 year old together. We moved from NYC to Northern NJ closer to her parents and sister after having the kid, and our relationship has been pretty rocky ever since. We're both a little hot headed and have always argued a good amount, but then we go back to normal after enough time passes.
This is my 3rd Father's day, but this year her family is traveling in Korea, so it's the first time the day isn't diluted by grandparents and brother in law. She was in a bad mood all weekend from being busy and tired (period just ended too).
On father's day, I woke up like any other Sunday and took morning childcare duty (7am-8am is mine 7 days a week because Im in office 3-4 days a week, while she's 90% remote, so she naturally gets more workload on weekdays), she woke up at 9am ish to say bye to the kiddo before I took him to his usual Sunday morning activity. She comes sometimes but has a flight for work travel at 8pm and needed time to finish packing. When I get back from said activity, I brought up that I would like 45 minutes of personal time before she leaves. My intention was to go for a quick run, pick up some last minute supplies, and grab a joint from the dispensary to unwind later and get some good sleep (I have chronic sleep problems). This upset her and she called me selfish for springing this on her hours before she has to leave for her flight. Per usual we start arguing but have to keep it civil and less obvious we're fighting cus the kid is with us. I eventually get my 45 minutes because our son actually napped (skips most weekend naps). Things are not sitting well with me and he didn't gets a little worse. Some mutual yelling which leads to silence between us and she eventually leaves for her trip.
We don't usually actively "make up" and just wait for things to pass. But this time I'm having trouble shaking it. She never wished me a happy father's day. She never said anything about father's day to our son. He never wished me a happy father's day and this is the first father's day he's old enough and speaking. During bed time routine I try to teach him that it's father's day, similar to mother's day and get him to say happy father's day, which he does happily. Instead of making me feel better, I broke down in tears out of frustration. I'm actually crying on my bus ride home now after typing all this out. Its painful.
Tl:dr – got in an argument that lasted the whole day and my wife didn't wish me a happy father's day and now it feels like our relationship hit a new low