I borrowed my husbands phone to send a message to my dead as mine was dead. I accidentally scrolled to archived messages and saw that he had chats with three females in there. I’ve never heard these names but I know he has female colleagues. There were no other chats archived, just these three women who he had recently messaged it seems. I know I shouldn’t have done this but I just found the fact that his archive was just these women from work really odd. I opened one of the chats (I know I shouldn’t have) and noticed he was chatting about non work related stuff. He had initiated quite a few of the messages and some of the stuff he was saying was borderline flirty. He was even using 👀 and 😛 emojis which he never normally uses. I guess you could say they weren’t implicating an affair or anything like that but I’m really shocked. He isn’t the type to speak to women and no matter what issues I’ve ever had. I literally never ever worried about him cheating on me. That’s one thing I felt I could trust about him.
I’m a pretty easygoing person. He likes to go out with his friends/colleagues and he’s a sociable person in general. He periodically meets up with work colleagues and I’ve just realised there are two girls who also go to these meet ups. He’s never specifically told me who goes but has mentioned a couple of male colleagues but conveniently left out the female ones. I even saw a message where he said shall we meet outside for a vape (which I didn’t know he did) and he also went to her house with other colleagues for dinner. He never mentioned this either.
I’m really worried that he finds this colleague attractive and so is speaking to her and like I said, being borderline flirty. I feel kind of sick about it tbh.
I can’t confront him because I have read messages without his permission but I just couldn’t help it once I saw who was in the archived chats.
I really don’t know what to do or how I should discuss this. It doesn’t seem like his colleague is flirting but it almost feels like if she was flirty, he would entertain it and maybe take a step further.
Does anyone have any advice? Am I overreacting? I’m