I’m an introvert and my home is my safe haven. My husband has regularly made house guests plans for his out of state family members to stay. They always stay an excessive amount of time and it puts me out huge mentally with the social aspect of hosting a host guest and work wise because I work from home and my home office doubles as a guest bedroom.
The last visit was particularly bad. His brother came and stayed for a week, went to their dads nearby for a few days, then came back to our house for another week. It was all during a hugely stressful project I was working on for work and the stress was so bad it actually triggered an epileptic seizure while his brother was here. I love his brother it was just much too long of a time to have anybody in my home for. I told my husband after this visit if we could please keep house guests to 3 days which I felt like was my max, and if I could be included in the planning process as far as dates go. I explained this was way too much for me.
Now today he informs me that his brother will be staying again for a few days while I’m in Vegas for a work trip, then going to his dads for a few days, then returning to our house for 4 nights when I’m back from my work trip and leaving on the 4th of July, a day we are scheduled to host a 50
Person party. Hearing these plans was crushing for me because being in Vegas for 5 days, followed by a house guest, followed by hosting a 50 person party is way too much for me to handle socially.
I told him that I wish I was given any type of consideration or input when these plans were made, because this now just made the party unmanageable for me. The 3 things stacked back to back to back is too much and I explained that now he backed me into a corner where I have to be the bad guy and say his brother can’t come or cancel the party. He got very defensive about this and said he wants to see his out of state brother etc, that it’s not like it’s a social visit he’s coming because his father’s wife just died etc…his fathers wife did did 2 months ago at the top of the visit so it’s not like the brother dropped everything and came up when she died, he came when his schedule allowed which happens to be tough for my own schedule. I also don’t understand why he needs to stay at our house for what I believe to be an excessive amount of time, if he’s here because of his dad why not spend more time at his dads 2 hours away from us…for what it’s worth he is already planning a different trip back up in September which is more of a social visit.
So with all that said, am I being unreasonable here for wanting to have input on dates of guests staying with us, and wanting to limit the number of nights?