I’m not sure if it was my upbringing but my husbands side of the family has a weird (to me) expectation of how women should help their partner. Maybe it is expected in most marriages…
We have been married a few years but together almost 8.
My husband will show up to our in laws home with holes in his socks for example and his dad will make a comment to me like “what are you doing, get him in check” or something like that. Or if he comes over and has sunburn or needs new clothes it’s a side comment to me how I need to correct that. As though I am responsible for making sure he does those things and I need to buy him clothes.
We have a toddler so I just feel overwhelmed with raising a child, working full time, and keeping myself pulled together I honestly don’t feel it’s my responsibility to keep tabs on a grown adult.
Recently his extended family has been reaching out to me because they want to spend time with us and that is frustrating me as well. I love spending time with everyone and nothing against them. But it makes me frustrated with my husband knowing they are reaching out to me because he doesn’t make an effort with them or talk to them. I have to maintain my own extended family’s relationships and make time for them and I don’t think it should be my responsibility to do that for his side as well. But my MIL will always tell me how she always had to do those things for him growing up and “we just have to do these things for them, you’ll get used to it” like men just aren’t capable. The comments are constant to be honest and it shocks me every time. I even told them “I already have a kid guys”.
I was raised by a stay at home mom but she did not raise me to enable men. My dad did quit a bit and I’m just not used to it I guess but they make me feel like it’s not normal to be like this?
Do most wives manage their husband so much like this? (Also my husband does not expect me to do these things for him it’s all comments from his family).