Hi all, [F19] here. I have a lot of anxiety from past relationships, so sometimes it’s hard for me to tell when I’m overthinking versus when something is genuinely bothering me.
I’ve been dating my [M19] boyfriend for about 3 months, and overall I’m really happy with him. Before we started dating, I knew he had a big mixed-gender friend group and I’ve always respected that. When driving, he has me answer his snaps and texts, so I can tell nothing weird is going on.
The thing that’s been bothering me is Instagram comments. Whenever he posts, some of his female friends comment things like inside jokes or funny comments like “unc”. Harmless, I know. It still makes me uncomfortable because in my past relationships, social media stuff was one of the first signs things were going downhill.
A friend also pointed it out recently and asked if it was weird that girls still comment on his posts now that he’s in a relationship, which got in my head more.
I don’t want to be controlling or tell him who he can talk to, especially because I know how unhealthy that can become. But I also don’t want to ignore something that genuinely bothers me.
How would you approach this conversation in a healthy way without sounding accusatory or controlling? Or do I shut up, am I overreacting?