Bit of background, I am a 20M and have been talking to a 19F for about 6 months now and I genuinely can't tell if I'm holding onto something real or destroying myself slowly.
We have talked 3-4 consistently throughout that 6 month period. Long phone calls, constant banter, deep convos, in person hangouts. etc etc etc. It genuinely felt like we were building to something soon. I was honestly planning on asking her to be my girlfriend within a matter of weeks before everything went downhill.
Then about a month/two ago she brings up that she is moving further away from 2 hours apart to 3.5 hours apart and both of us said that we cannot do that distance. Both of us agreed that it would've worked if she didn't have to move. (My issue is she has full control of if she decides to move or not but is still going as she doesn't want to move closer towards the city). But I told her simply if she moves away that I cannot be friends with her.
We stopped talking properly for a bit, but recently she reached back out saying she wanted to talk (about 2 weeks ago). Then she disappeared again saying "I'm thinking" and never followed up which is still confusing the crap out of me.
Moving to present: I broke no contact again to wish her a happy birthday, we ended up chatting for like 15 minutes, and hearing her voice again completely destroyed me. I could hear she was emotional too. After she told me "It made me upset and happy hearing from you" I told her I miss her too.
The issue is… I genuinely think that everything is real on both sides. But it all seems impossible to make a relationship outta this because of the distance. Which leads me to keep wanting to contact her or letting go but one of us caves and reaches back out.
Part of me wants to ask her out this weekend to see her again. Another part of me knows I could be reopening the wound even deeper and stabbing myself.
Has anyone been in a situation of "right person, wrong time" Do I give it another shot or am I just hurting myself. I truly adore this girl and would do anything.